Dear Ibby: I am concerned about my 27-year-old stoner boyfriend’s increasing underperformance. I don't know if all his pot smoking is affecting him or if it's me. What are your thoughts?

Dear Ibby: I am concerned about my 27-year-old stoner boyfriend’s increasing underperformance. I don't know if all his pot smoking is affecting him or if it's me. What are your thoughts?

SexJune 19, 2013

THC can act as smooth muscle relaxant, causing penile erectile tissue to be less respondent to signals from the brain telling it to get hard. It can lower your blood pressure and decrease your heart rate, making it harder for your penis to fill with blood. It can also cause sperm to swim around weird, or swim too fast toward an egg, which makes them wear out and die before they get there. Men who smoke a lot of weed have less seminal fluid than men who don’t.

OK, that’s the end of that penis lesson. Long story short, weed can definitely have an a effect on male sexual performance. But, there are countless strains of weed, and each one has a different effect. People also have different experiences with these strains, so it’s possible that one strain may make you pop a mega boner, while another will make your dick more saggy than a pair of ancient tits. If your stoner boyfriend is sucking at sex, his chill 420 ways may definitely have something to do with that. If you can get him to stop smoking for a week or two, do it and see if it affects your sex life. Most guys would rather go without weed than be sexually dysfunctional because the desire for sexual prowess is at the core of many a man’s manhood (alliteration, everybody). But, if he’s just soooo into weed that he can’t stop smoking, or nothing improves after he stops, then he’s obviously got something else going on. Maybe you need to dress up like a giant joint for him to fuck you? Think it over. Anyway, to all the men out there: If you want to slay at sex, then stop smoking for a goddamn second, and when you’re done doling out pleasure, you can return to your bong collection.