Dear Ibby, If a girl asks you out, do you still have to pay for the date?

Dear Ibby, If a girl asks you out, do you still have to pay for the date?

SexJuly 13, 2014

That’s entirely dependent on the amount of Southern hospitality you have coursing through your veins.

Did you attend cotillion or charm school as a young lad? Do you come from a long line of British butlers whose primary philosophy is graciousness and silence? Then, yes. It’s in your nature to be a gentleman and if you don’t pay, you’ll be forever plagued by this moral quandary.

On the other end of the spectrum, if you’ve recently been plucked from your primal wolf pack by beaver hunters and tossed into the bustle of society, then not necessarily. You don’t know right from wrong. You haven’t reached the level of maturity that would merit you spending your entire Arby’s paycheck on a random girl.

What I’m trying to say is that it’s up to you, and it's a situation-by-situation thing. Who cares what people say you “have to do?” Furthermore, if a girl won’t see you again because you didn’t pay for her, that’s stupid. It’s one thing if she refuses to see you again because you’re horrible, but it’s another if it’s because of the money thing; and I can tell you with a fair degree of certainty that you don’t want to be with anyone who’s that shallow. Is it the gentlemanly thing to do? Yes. If you were to pay, I’m sure it would be much appreciated.

I’m more of the persuasion you should split the bill on the first date, because when one person pays for it, it implies that the other somehow owes them something, and on a first date, no one should be owing anyone at that point. Don’t expect her to pay for it, because she had the balls to ask you out so she deserves to avoid financial ruin. At the same time, she shouldn’t expect you to pay for it just because you have a penis. If your relationship progresses to a more serious point, it makes more sense to start paying for each other’s things.

Thankfully, you can get around this issue by taking her somewhere like Applebee’s, where you can, for a limited time only, get any two of their delicious entrees and a signature dessert for half price!