Dear Ibby, I've known this one girl for about a year now. I like her a lot and I feel like she really likes me...
I've known this one girl for about a year now. I like her a lot and I feel like she really likes me. She's only gone down on me twice though when she was pretty wasted, which both ended pretty quickly due to some circumstances that were out of my control. I really want to ask her out, but I'm afraid that if she says no we'll never see each other the same way again. What should I do?
What a weird question. It seems like since she's only gone down on you twice, and both times "ended pretty quickly," that you aren't really seeing her in any particular way...so you have nothing to lose. Plus, if she was willing to give it another go a second time after the first time ended awkwardly, then she doesn't exactly hate you. Here's what I'd do. Before you ask her out, blow her mind in bed. So far, you've only proven yourself to be weird sexually, and it sounds like you haven't given her much in return for the head. But if you can show her you're capable of some sort of sexual prowess, you'll be in a much better position to do the asking-out thing. Whatever you do, don't force it. Don't go out of your way to try to fuck her. Act like yourself around her, and flirt with her, but let her come to you. Just make sure when she feels like fucking, that it's amazing for her. If you can get to that point, do the whole have-great-sex thing again, and then ask her out. If she's of the traditional persuasion, ask her to "get some food with you" around dinner time. Don't "ask her to dinner, " it's too formal. If she's less traditional, ask her to do something fun with you. Go on a hike, go out together, go to a show, etc. If she says no to the whole fuck first, date later thing, then there's always tube socks.