Dear Ibby, I've lost all of my sex drive. What can I do to get it back?

Dear Ibby, I've lost all of my sex drive. What can I do to get it back?

SexMay 09, 2014

Show up at its house with flowers and burgers, and beg for it to forgive you. Just kidding … my condolences to you and your bod. How you get your libido back depends on why you lost it. There are a ton of reasons why people suddenly go from having the sex drive of an mythical anime character to one of a wet cabbage, which despite being wet in this imaginary scenario, is thoroughly unaroused. Here are some common reasons: medication side effect, mental health problems such as depression or anxiety, stress, relationship problems, over- enthusiastic drug or alcohol use, obesity, lack of sleep, poor self image … I could go on, but I have a word count to R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

The first thing I’ll tell you is see a doctor. They can test your for hormonal imbalances, evaluate your mental health, and poke and prod you to see if you have any conditions that might make you immune to arousal. Barring any kind of mental or physical health condition you may need some sort of professional intervention for, there are a few things that increase your sex drive au naturale. They are: increasing your self-confidence, exercising and de-stressing. I know, I’m bummed exercising is in there, too. There’s nothing that kills arousal like feeling insecure, stressed and having no blood flow to your genitals. You need to start feeling good about yourself, like you’re worthy of intimacy and pleasure, and like you have space in your life for it. It's also possible you need a stronger stimulus. Try exploring kinks and fantasies you haven’t before, or research new ones that you might not even know turn you on yet. Experiment as much as possible, because spontaneity and variety increase arousal like no one’s business. There are a few things you can supposedly eat to increase your sex drive, such as ginseng, green tea, dark chocolate and oysters that couldn’t hurt to try, but they’re not going to restore your sex drive completely if it’s gone MIA.

Lastly, check out Bill Murray in “Lost in Translation.” If that doesn’t get you going, I don’t know what will.