Dear Ibby, My boyfriend just kind of lays there when I’m going down on him. How do I tell if he likes it? Am I bad at giving head or something?

Dear Ibby, My boyfriend just kind of lays there when I’m going down on him. How do I tell if he likes it? Am I bad at giving head or something?

SexApril 15, 2013

Dear Ibby,
My boyfriend just kind of lays there when I’m going down on him. How do I tell if he likes it? Am I bad
at giving head or something?

Oh, shit. That’s tough because every guy reacts differently to pleasure. Some of them lay there and just take it all in, others squirm and moan like their life depended on it. So it can be hard for girls to judge the effect they’re having. But, there’s one thing for sure- if he likes it, he’ll have some sort of bodily reaction. He might touch your head or your hair, kind of thrust his hips, talk dirty, make little moans, breath heavily, etc. And when he comes, he might kind of sit up, or moan more. But it’s not like he’s going to freak out and shout and bust a move...if it feels good, he’ll mostly likely do some of the things mentioned above in his own way. You’ll can kind of tell by how hard his dick is, too. If it feels sort of flimsy or soft but still erect, he’s either not that into it, or something else is going on (whiskey dick). If it’s like, rock-hard and you can see and feel his veins kind of bulging, that’s a good sign. For guys, the whole point of getting head is to relax and not have to do anything, so if he’s just “lying there”, remember that’s part of the gig for him. But if he’s doing his very best impression of a comatose quadriplegic when you’re going down on him, it’s probably you. Sorry. You either suck at sucking dick, or you’re hurting him a little. In either case, he probably won’t tell you, because he won’t want to hurt their feelings. The best (and hardest thing to do is ask him what he’d rather you do. If he’s too modest to tell you exactly what he wants, it’s his problem. The more candid he is with you, the better head he could get.