Dear Ibby: My friend lies about the amount of sex he has and it's becoming a problem that’s only getting worse.
He’s not getting any. Or, he’s gay and wants you to think he’s straight. What the hell does it matter what his sex number is? People only brag like that when they’re insecure. They think storytelling with gusto about secretly imaginary scenarios will make them feel like a normal person. But the problem is, people can tell when they’re being lied to. People who are comfortable with their sexuality or level of sexual experience almost never exaggerate like that. They know that if people do care and judge them, then those people are idiots and insecure themselves. So, he’s either ashamed that he can’t get laid and he’s trying to compensate by acting like Ron Jeremy, or he might be gay. So if you care about him, but you want him to shut up, don’t embarrass him in front of your other friends by calling him out. That’ll only make it worse. Bring it up in a serious moment when it’s just the two of you, and see if you can’t have one of those real conversation thingys. A third possibility: Your friend is just an attention whore who grew up in a house where dad was never there and mom was always inviting the postman in for Prozac and vodka. Or something. Maybe he’s having a ton of sex and just wants to be noticed by someone other than the hordes of hoes he’s banging.