Dear Ibby, My mom hates my girlfriend. My mom's insight means the most to me but I really like my girlfriend. Is there any hope for this relationship working or am I delaying the inevitable?
Here’s a famous quote I just made up: “You can have a thousand girlfriends, but you can only have one mom”. Unless your mom is a lesbian, but you get the point. What I’m trying to say is that I don’t care if you really like your girlfriend, or that your mom hates her, because if you’re reading this magazine, you’re likely in our target demographic age range of 16-30. That means your girlfriend might be cool, but realistically, you’re young. You’ll probably have a bunch of other girlfriends in your lifetime. So, if your mom doesn’t like her, then that sounds like a personal problem and a waste of her energy, because it’s not like your biological clock expired yesterday. You’re like 19. If I were you, I’d just enjoy being with said girlfriend while it lasts, because at the end of your day, your mom is your mom and she pretty much has to love you no matter what you do and who you’re with. But, that being said, sometimes parents can see things in people that we can’t. Parents have been around the block. They’ve been on the planet what, like 50 years (?), experiencing different types of people and developing instincts about how they work. They know damn well whether your girlfriend is shady. I’m not sure why your mom doesn’t like her, but there’s probably a good reason…a good reason that’s your job to find out though. Your mom has to understand that you need to make your own mistakes and find stuff out for yourself, or you won’t learn. Long story short, there’s totally hope for your relationship, but I’d definitely listen to what your mom has to say. But at the same time tell her you respect her opinion and you appreciate that she cares, but back off because you need to figure out your own shit.