Dear Ibby, My two friends are hooking up with the same girl but aren't aware of it. Not sure if I should break the news to them or keep my mouth shut and watch the debacle unfold. What do you think I should do?

Dear Ibby, My two friends are hooking up with the same girl but aren't aware of it. Not sure if I should break the news to them or keep my mouth shut and watch the debacle unfold. What do you think I should do?

SexJanuary 08, 2013

Dear Ibby,
My two friends are hooking up with the same girl but aren't aware of it. Not sure if I should break the news to them and set off World War III, or keep my mouth shut and watch the debacle unfold. What do you think I should do?


Oh, no, oh, no! Sike. Seems like these days everyone is hooking up with the same girl- that situation isn’t that unheard of. But! Is it your job to insert yourself into an already dramatic equation, and just pop out of nowhere and “fix” the situation by telling them what you know? Not really. But, is it your responsibility to look out for your friend’s best interests, and make sure you’re doing stuff for them that you’d probably want them to do for you? Totally. Tough question. I think that your friends deserve to know that they’re porking the same hole, but the degree of drama that you start can be significantly off-put by how you approach the situation. Here’s what I do. Next time one of your friends (let’s call them Dude and Bro) starts talking about it this girl, say something like “Oh, didn’t Bro hook up with her? I think it was kinda recent”. Dude will be justifiably confused. Then, back the hell out of there. If Dude wants to pursue the issue with Bro, then it’s in his hands now. Maybe he’ll ask the girl about it, maybe he’ll ask Bro, but one way or another, once you’ve catalyzed the “finding out what happened” conversation, both of your friends will realize that since they didn’t know about each other, neither of them are at fault. It’s the girl’s fault! And, usually in situations like this, the guys become closer because they have a shared experience of getting fucked over by the same girl. And, you did all that with one nonchalant sentence. Just do it casually enough to highlight that you’re not emotionally invested in the drama, otherwise you’ll look like you’re trying to start shit. Just inform, and move on, smooth guy.