Denver City Council effectively approves hot-boxing

Denver City Council effectively approves hot-boxing

VicesNovember 26, 2013

You're smoking marijuana just inside your front door. That's A-O.K.

You're smoking marijuana on outside of your front door. You're so busted.

That's the basic premise of a new measure drafted by the Denver City Council that would make it illegal to smoke marijuana if you are visible from the street or sidewalk. Basically, lighting up the crisp, fresh Denver air while basking in the sunlight and getting your daily dose of Vitamin D is bad, but cowering inside your house and boarding up your windows so no one can see you is good.  Publicly visible lawns, porches, and balconies are all subject to the new measure. The final vote is set for Monday, but in a preliminary vote, City Council members voted to pass it, 7-5.

With all this limiting of acceptable marijuana-smokin' space, we're left with but one option for enjoying the newly legal substance: hot-boxing the living shit out of our houses.

So far, no measure has been drafted to limit marijuana consumption inside, on private property. That makes your bathroom, roommates's bedroom, and basement prime real estate for inundation with a thick THC super-cloud. So when you begin to sink into a deep, hazy relaxation as the dense smoke seeps into your pores, just take comfort in the fact that you're only obeying the law by getting this high.

However, regardless of whether or not the bill passes, Denver Police Chief Robert White said enforcing it would be his department's lowest priority. Okay, so on paper, smoking weed on your own private property is illegal, but in real life, it's only sort of illegal. Damn it, all this okay/psuedo-okay shit is making our head spin...we're gonna go hot box our mop closet, BRB.