Does this look like a log flume enthusiast who's banned from all Six Flags theme parks?

Does this look like a log flume enthusiast who's banned from all Six Flags theme parks?

VicesNovember 12, 2013

Jay Marc Harris, the self-described "Flume Dog" has a fever and the only perscription is more log flume. Unfortunately, the poor son-of-a-bitch is banned from all Six Flags Theme Parks across the country for behavior unbecoming of a log flume enthusiast.

In 2006, Flume Dog was removed from Six Flags Fiesta Texas after approaching three ladies and asking if he could take their children with him on the log ride. In retrospect, not Flume Dog's brightest idea. The three ladies immediately alerted park authorities who took Flume Dog into custody. It was in custody that authorities discovered they weren't dealing with just any Six Flags rebel; Flume Dog had a rap sheet spanning multiple Six Flags across the country. In Atlanta, authorities had to remove Flume Dog from the park after they found him chained to a tree for no reason. And in Chicago, Six Flags authorities once again removed Flume Dog after finding him sleeping on the premises, apparently waiting for the park to open. In his defense, a great strategic move for avoiding the lines. With this Six Flags criminal history, the company had no choice but to issue a permanent ban for the log flume enthusiast who'd spent the better part of his life traversing the country to ride log flumes. 

But now, Flume Dog is biting back and taking his case before a San Antonio jury, hoping to once again feel the cool fresh water and brisk air of the log flumes. 

"It's a tragic story in my life," Harris wrote in a message to the Express-News, sent through Facebook.

"I'm the real defendant, although officially I'm a plaintiff," he said.

Brad Bartlett, an attorney for Six Flags and Fiesta Texas, said, "At this point, I don't think there's any reasonable resolution to this matter."

"There's a lot of evidence that will be introduced at trial," he added. "It would be premature for me to comment on pending litigation."

Go get 'em Flume Dog. Just next time, ride the ride by yourself and avoid asking strangers if you can take their kids with you.