Don’t pretend you’re not excited that Hillary Clinton has a vagina

Don’t pretend you’re not excited that Hillary Clinton has a vagina

SexJuly 05, 2016 By Isabelle Kohn

There has been much debate in the media lately over whether Hillary Clinton’s gender matters. Yes, it’s very nice that she rocket launched herself face-first through a glass ceiling by becoming the first female to secure the Democratic nomination, but will that actually affect her politics? In a House of Representatives that’s over 80 percent male, would she even be able to flex her femininity, or are there still too many male interests at stake? Does blah mean blah if blah?

I don’t know, you guys. I don’t care. Right now, I’m just elated to be alive during the first time in history a woman has been nominated for president by a major party. I’m sure as shit not going to pretend I’m not feeling a little randy just thinking about Bill Clinton’s penis back in the White House, either.

Are her politics 100 percent up my alley? Nope! Has she done some shady things? For sure. Is she a human animatron in a pantsuit? Yes, thank you for asking.

Politics and personal feelings aside though, let’s just talk for a moment about the implications a female president would have. In a recent article on the topic, Vox points to multiple studies that show when women achieve high office, female advancement in politics “trickles down.” In other words, a woman governor or senator tends to inspire a downstream increase in female state legislators. Aside from enriching our government with more focus on education and reproductive health, these victories would themselves carry important symbolic value, especially for young women.

What if they had a female role model who also happened to be the most powerful woman in the world? As a stayed politician who’s survived D.C. shitstorms for years, Hillary is role model gold. She embodies tons of positive qualities like hard-work, intelligence, compromise, aspiration, resilience, diplomacy … I could go on. These traits are irrelevant to her platform, but they are absolutely relevant for young women and girls, who still suffer from the disadvantages of gender inequality and our country’s hypermasculine ideals.

Now, let’s talk about Hillary and sex, aka why I’m really excited. This is a sex column after all.

Hillary Clinton is the shining icon of how to handle infidelity. After what I’m sure was a long, hard and very public uphill battle, Hillary realized that her husband is a human being with sexual needs that she may not be able to fill all the time. She recognized that the more undue weight she gave his relationship with Monica Lewinsky, the more she minimized the scope and importance of her and Bill’s decades-long love. If she would have left him during that time, she would have been implying that the force of Lewinsky’s blow jobs was stronger than the force of their marriage.

In fact, Clinton saw Lewinsky as such a non-threat to her marriage that she called her a “narcissistic loony toon” in a 1998 interview. As in, you’re fucking crazy if you think you matter. 

She ain’t perfect, and cheating is never “okay,” but she’s a living embodiment of sexual forward thinking and my very strong belief that good relationships should never be derailed because of a mistake. So yeah, I’m excited to have a strong female like that as a candidate.

I know it’s not “cool” to support Hillary for our generation. Many of us like to imply we’re not excited by her gender because of Benghazi, her email scandals and her corporate relationships. But, right now, our country is in a crisis bigger than that. The question is no longer whether she’s the best candidate, it’s whether how we can keep 'Trump out the White House.' She is how. So right now, I’m gonna relax on her politics for a second, sit back, and appreciate the historic significance of her vagina.

Adieu.