Finally, you can trade your unused gift cards for a porn subscription. Rejoice!

Finally, you can trade your unused gift cards for a porn subscription. Rejoice!

SexJanuary 03, 2014

What's worth more: a $25 gift card to Chili's, or a big steamin' pile of porn?

Our thoughts exactly. That's why we were positively overjoyed when we learned that Naughty America is offering a deal where you can trade in your unused gift certificates for a subscription to one of their many, very porn-y sites. That's right; you can turn that Walmart gift card straight into 5,000 videos of over 2,000 porn stars getting porked, which is worth infinitely more than the thought and effort your Grandma put into procuring the gift card for you.

And, what's even more exciting, is that the list of gift cards you can exchange the porn for is diverse as all hell. Target, Banana Republic, Cabela's Guitar Center, Barnes and Noble, you name it bucko. If it's a place that you were bummed about receiving a gift card from, you can trade it in to the good people at Naughty America, and you'll be getting to know your hand a lot better in no time.

For reference, $25 will get you 24 days of access to Naughty America properties. $50 gets you 48 days, and $200 gets you 612 days. You don't have to use a credit card or your name, just an email address, so there's really no excuse to forgo buying an iPad at Best Buy for a chance to see two girls make out with a goat, for free.

Naughty America founder Andreas Hronopoulos explains, "Nothing says America like the freedom of choice. This is a great deal for the holidays. Instead of using a gift card for a $5 coffee, you're getting a porn subscription."  How can you even think about refusing this? Stop it. Just do it. It's the American way.

You can thank us later for this incredible opportunity we've bestowed upon you, but in the meantime, we have a lot of Old Navy gift certificates to turn into sweet ass.