Get your $900 flamethrower now before they're banned — thanks Obama!

Get your $900 flamethrower now before they're banned — thanks Obama!

VicesAugust 26, 2015 By Dave Reuss

There's never been a better time to want — and then buy — a flamethrower. For about as much as a month's rent, you could be burning the shit out of everything within a 30-foot radius. Sweet, right? The good folks at Ion Productions absolutely crushed their Indiegogo campaign, and now offer the world's first commerically available flamethrower for $900. Known as the XM42, it can shoot fire over 25 feet and has more than 35 seconds of burn time per tank of fuel. With a full tank of fuel, it weighs only 10 pounds.

And a company in Ohio has an even more badass, backpack-mounted version for $1,600. It's on sale now, shoots twice as far and uses a mix of gasoline, diesel, and napalm!

Let freedom ring! Oh, we want it so bad! 

But, the Buzzkillington Buzzkills in the government want to kill fun, while the honest, hardworking people of America just want to kill things with fire from a distance. California and Maryland prohibit them outright, and several government officials have called for their ban. 

"Business is skyrocketing higher than ever due to the discussion on prohibition," Chris Byars, the CEO of the Ion Productions Team. "I’m a huge supporter of personal freedom and personal responsibility. Own whatever you like, unless you use it in a manner that is harmful to another or other’s property. We’ve received a large amount of support from police, fire, our customers, and interested parties regarding keeping them legal."

"Why make/build/sell this? It’s awesome," Byars added. "It’s revolutionary in its design in contrast to previous flamethrowers throughout the years due to its portability and instant-action on the fly functionality. I wanted one, personally, back in 2007, so I began developing plans to create one. Years went by with slow development, and then a spark hit and I decided this was the year to make it happen. I used the resources I gained as an engineer in the auto industry to learn how to make this a reality."

So get yours now, America, before fun dies and you'll have to burn things the old fashioned way by being really close to them emotionally.