The greatest condom is just a tiny hat for your penis
Have you ever wondered if sex would be better if the most pleasure-sensitive part of your penis were wearing a tiny helmet like an earnest, yet miniature solider going into battle?
Well quit your wonderin' because the "greatest condom in 400 years" is exactly that.
Dubbed the Galactic Cap by its creator, the modified condom/ dick head-gear encases only the tip of the phallice, leaving the shaft free to experience the full sensation of sex. That way, it traps semen without sacrificing satisfaction, and makes your penis more fashionable than the all the other penises. Express yourself!
The Galactic Cap was actually entered in a condom innovation competition put on by the Bill Gates Foundation. Turns out Mr. Bill believes that condom usage rates will increase if they're more pleasurable to use, and make your dick look like a Kentucky Derby debutante.
The prophylactic hat itself is made up of two parts: a U-shaped polyurethane adhesive film and a reservoir tip that sticks to the adhesive. The film can be worn for hours or even days before sex, because hey, you could trip and fall into a vagina at any point in time. You can also bathe in it and urinate with it if you're into that. The reservoir is added immediately before sex. Look!
But, there's a dark downside to this seeming beacon of penis fashion; it really sucks at preventing STDs since it leaves your shaft exposed, which is why it's still waiting for FDA approval. So, our advice? Dress your dick up in a tiny Hell's Angel costume and stick to regular Trojans while you wait for the Galactic Cap to make its triumphant debut. And when it does, send us photos of all the children you didn't have!