Guys night out vs. Girls night out: so similar yet so different.

Guys night out vs. Girls night out: so similar yet so different.

VicesOctober 17, 2012

Guys Night Out

For a lot of college males out there, a night out at a party or bar is a great chance to meet some attractive co-eds and put some more miles on the old liver. It’s a chance to let out some steam, get down, and start learning from our mistakes.  It’s not all fun and games though, as lots of meticulous planning goes into what guys wear, how they smell, and how they look. Not too much work though. We’re not chicks.

Getting Ready

Critical part of the evening: finding sustenance. Yes, alcohol is extremely important but food helps to settle your stomach and gives you energy for the night ahead. Usually we try to avoid foods that will punish us later, but we’re only human. It’s just like mom always said: “A good meal is the cornerstone of a solid binge.” For most guys, what they wear out is a reflection of their style and personality. While the female species deems it appropriate to take at least an hour to get ready, most normal functioning males can get the job done in a fraction of the time. Some of us go for the bright plumage approach, adorning ourselves in flashy neon colors that say, “Bitch I’m over here.” Others seek out the laid back look, while some just look ridiculous. Ultimately, it’s about what’s comfortable and what’s gonna make some chick grind up on our junk. Of course, there is always the tried and true GTL (Gym, Tan, Laundry) approach.

Pregaming

Possibly one of the most important parts of a guys night. Even if you’re in that “I’m just gonna stay in tonight, guys” mood, a few drinks will have you re-prioritizing. Pre-gaming is a key element in getting your mind-set right before going out. For guys, it gets our game up and helps us make dumber decisions, which always make for great entertainment. Whilst in our pregame mode, we as males try to walk the fine line of intoxication, trying to seek a balance between feeling great and utter blackness.
 

The Essentials

  •   It’s essential for a guy to shower before he goes out.
  •   A pack of gum to get rid of any residual Chipotle breathe is a must.
  •   A few bucks to spend on emergency snacks, narcotics, and Tra Lings.
  •   Condom.
  •   If you’re feeling confident, another condom.
  •   Some beers for the road.
  •   Late night Joint.
  •   Game Face.

Girls Night Out

For the female college student, going out is all about looking hot, having a blast with her friends, and carrying out her mission to hook up with the lucky fellow she's been deviously planning to make a move on. It all starts with a plan: girls get out of class and immediately call other girls to see what's up, upcoming parties are compared, outfits considered, and guys lusted after. Out of this storm of gossip and ideas comes a game plan, usually involving dinner beforehand.

Getting Ready

Get ready for a shocker; every girl is different when it comes to getting ready. Some girls take short showers, some stay in there for 45 minutes. You may ask yourself "What could she possibly  be doing in the shower that takes more than 3 minutes?". The answer? Shaving – for the guy most likely. Taking lengthy amounts of time to delicately shave every single curve perfectly so everything goes smoothly with the dude. Other time consuming endeavors include conditioning our hair, washing our bodies etc. Things that males don't do. Next comes makeup and hair, which is again, extremely varied in it's style and time it takes to do. That's why we're so pretty.


Pregaming

Pre-gaming in Boulder for a female can take many forms including drinking at a friend’s house, restaurant, or bar. The main goal of pre-gaming is to get drunk before we get drunk. Usually it consists of drinking any amount of alcohol before we go to another location to drink even more, but the objective here is generally to loosen up to a point where we can carry out whatever mission we've cooked up earlier in the evening. Not every girl always has a purpose when she's going out, but most of the time girls are looking to meet a guy, home-wreck someone's relationship, meet friends, or just relax and have fun.

 

The Essentials

  •   Girls must, and we mean must, smell good before they leave their house.
  •   Looking hot: Most ladies won't even go out if they don't feel pretty.
  •   Gum, toothbrush, mouthwash etc.
  •   Lip gloss or chap stick.
  •   Some kind of birth control.
  •   Cellphone: snag numbers, snap instagram photos to prove how much fun you have, and avoid awkward alone time while waiting to refill your beer.
  •   A fun, optimistic attitude: No one wants to party with a downer.
  •   Lighter, you never know who will need a light and you wouldn't want to miss an introduction with that babe you've been eyeing all night.
  •   Money for late night food.