Hair stockings could help scare off perverts... and any chance at a date

Hair stockings could help scare off perverts... and any chance at a date

VicesJune 18, 2013

Ladies, slip into a pair of form fitting, appearance boosting, hair stockings to brighten any romantic night and fill the head of your man with dreamy, steamy fantasies. The hair itself might or might not be real considering the stockings are manufactured in China. Your real concern should be whether it's human hair, dog hair or rat hair. 

Originally intended to detract perverts and prevent rape, the "Hair Stockings" are just in time for summer and the growing epidemic of sexual assault in India and China. Raise your testosterone levels while lowering your chances of sexual assault in one easy to wear product.