Halloween punch recipes for the laziest of house party hosts

Halloween punch recipes for the laziest of house party hosts

VicesOctober 31, 2014

The Halloween the party is at your place, and it's going to be epic. But if you were planning on sucking a bottle of Burnett's and Tecate all night, you and the disembodied zombie heads you've placed around your apartment know you can do better in the drink department. So, here are some stupid-simple and spooky punch recipes that'll scare everyone away from the PBR 30 rack for long enough so you don't have to haunt the cocktail counter all night.

Let's get drunk, people.

Ghost Buster

1 big can of pineapple juice
2 cans of frozen limeade
4 cups silver rum - Or Burnett's, you know whatever clear liquor you're in the mood for
2 cups melon liqueur
2 cups peach schnapps
1 liter lemon-lime soda
1 splash of Irish Creme in each glass for a ghoulish touch


4 cups lime vodka
2 cups blue curacao
2 liters Sprite

Blood Bath

1 bottle vodka
4 cups OJ
4 cups pomegranate or cranberry juice
1/2 cup lime juice
1 liter seltzer water

Zombie Punch

2 cans frozen limeade
1 liter Sprite
4 cups citrus vodka
Scoops of lime sherbet

If you're feeling fancy, here's some extras you can toss in to ensure that no matter how much everyone drinks, they won't forget your awesomely horrific punch.

Corn syrup + red food coloring = edible fake blood. Mix this up in a bowl and have your guests rim their glasses with it. It's a sticky, syrupy mess after a while but fuck it, you're going to end up a sticky mess either way so drink up.

Freeze water in a latex glove, so your ice looks like lost appendages. Everyone loves body parts floating around a Halloween party.

Just because you're too old to trick-or-treat doesn't mean you have to forgo candy this year. Put that Burnett's to use and soak some gummy worms. In a few hours you'll have boozy worms to garnish your punch or just stuff in your face until you can't see straight.

Dry ice instead makes your punch ooze smoke like a witch's cauldron. It's kind of hard to find, but just Google "dry ice" and the city you live in, and we guarantee you'll find some dealers.


Great! Now that we've got the booze part of your party covered, think about getting really scary by ordering finger food and sandwiches from Arby's. There's nothing more haunting than a mean case of E.Coli.