Here are two apps that explain why nerds aren't getting laid

Here are two apps that explain why nerds aren't getting laid

CultureSeptember 09, 2013

AOL's TechCrunch Disrupt 2013 conference last weekend was hard proof that today's nerds are still not getting laid. If they were, this wouldn't have happened:

Titstare isn't even real; it was some sort of "joke" pulled by Australians Jethro Batts and David Boulton...which makes the notion of adult men making fun of boobs impossibly more nerdy.

(^Probably the most interaction with boobs that these nerds get.)

And then, if Titstare didn't completely convince the crowd that these tech nerds have never actually handled boobs, this happened...

Circle Shake: Find out how just how vigorously you can choke the life out of your penis in a frenzy of post-pubescent masturbation. The app was apparently debuted to an audience that included one nine-year-old girl who's gonna have an emotional scar or five later in her life...

These two apps prove exactly why tech nerds aren't getting any: nothing screams "don't touch me with that vagina of yours, ladies" more than full-grown men giggling like schoolboy fauntleroys at the notion of breasts and masturbation. No wonder there aren't any chicks in the tech sector.

So while tech nerds are cracking up at the same shit they were in middle school, and circle-jerking each other with apps and what not, we'll be out there, making sure the boobs of the world are properly attended to. More 80085 for us. Later, losers.