November's horoscopes light a fire where you need it most: your pants
Welcome back Aries, you earned this shit!
Jan. 21-Feb. 19
Your libido is a nuclear reactor this month and you can’t lose. Make sure you have your booty-call partners on top-shelf DM status. There’s some mind-blowing sex coming your way and you’re more than ready. Don’t hesitate to teach a certain someone those new moves you’ve invented.
Feb. 20-Mar. 20
Your fantasies this month are attracting the cream of the crop. Indulge in your naughty dreams and may all of them be wet. By month’s end, you’ll be ready for a whole new group tour of your bedroom. Or should we call it ‘romper room’? No matter what, you’re very popular now.
Mar. 21-Apr. 20
Last month your sex life might’ve felt like tepid bathwater. But you’re back, babay!! There are plenty of opportunities to celebrate getting your groove back, especially during the Full Moon on the 12th. You’ve got a bad case of “the feels” in the pants, so get your ass back out there.
Apr. 21-May 21
Like the weather, your mojo might be in the deep freeze right now, which may cause you some tension that even a good fap session won’t cure. You can get a bit of satisfaction during the Full Moon on the 12th, so it’s time to clean your room in preparation for your guest. Or guests. Plural. Group sex. Get it?
May 22-June 21
You are hereby given permission to indulge in any sexual delight you choose with a consensual partner or three. Be vulnerable with your lovers and yourself. On the second week of November, go out with friends, be extra, get turnt, and stay woke. A one-night fling might be exactly what the doctor ordered.
June 22-July 22
The weather is creating a desire for more foreplay and cuddling, but it might be hard to come by. Might be time to broaden your sexual horizons and go beyond the mundane. Try something wild. Like a Gemini. A new lover or a new turn-on? Let them decide.
July 23-Aug. 21
If romance has become tiresome, perhaps it’s time for some role-playing. Use your imagination and figure out new ways to be the sexy beast you’re known to be. Rawwwr! You’ve a flair for dramatics, so put it to good use. Might be just what you need to click with your partner.
Aug. 22-Sept. 23
You have high standards in sexual conquests all while wondering if your deepest sexual needs are being met. If your last orgasm was during the solar eclipse, then no, they’re not. Step out of your comfort zone and connect with someone you might normally pass over. The holidays are coming, and so should you.
Sept. 24-Oct. 23
Your sex drive could power the U.S. these days. Good for you! Instead of pure animal sex, treat your lover to a night of raw sensuality during the Full Moon on the 12th. Candles, music, flowers, and your best bed sheets. Pay attention to the details and get it right.
Oct. 24-Nov. 22
Your goal this month should be to put everything you’ve learned about sex into practice. Your memory is legendary, so there’s little reason for you to get off but not your partner. You know their pleasure spots, make sure you feed their fantasies with that Scorpio imagination. Sharing is caring.
Nov. 23-Dec. 22
Who needs a gym membership when you’re an Olympic gold medal winner in the bedroom? Don’t get too cocky and think you’re all that, though. Your performance is crucial in every event, not just in getting yourself off. Share the wealth. Also, practice.
Dec. 23-Jan. 20
You need sleep more than most of the other zodiac signs, but not to the detriment of your love life. You’re feeling plenty of sexual energy. Don’t let it go to waste. Stimulation is your keyword this month both physically and mentally. There’s a sexy someone looking to hook up. After a nap.