How the strange but effective practice of Orgasmic Meditation is helping Colorado women climax
In today's unfortunate culture of clitoral illteracy, women are being robbed of the therapeutic benefits sexual pleasure can bring. Sex has become strangely commerce-based (you go down on me, I’ll go down on you) which often means the intimacy and connectedness that make it such a healthy leisure sport get thrown out the window. For hopeful clitori, that’s put a sad damper on orgasmic possibility. But now, a growing new practice called Orgasmic Meditation (OM) is seeking to change that. And they’re doing it in a way you’d never expect, one that you might need some guts to try: standardized, sometimes-public clitoral massage.
For exactly 15 minutes, trained “strokers” give specially designed clitoral rubs to women who are placed in cozy “nests” and given value-neutral descriptions like, “Your labia is pink.” The massages are the exact same every single time, and occur with a partner of your choosing. There’s no funny business (no penetration of any kind), and extreme measures to ensure consent and comfort are taken. They can take place in public at an OM class or event, but you’re also encouraged to do them in private at home.
However, the clit shiatsu is just a small part of the larger, increasingly popular orgasmic meditation practice. Practitioners use it as a mindfulness practice to promote clarity and heightened sexual awareness through clitoral stimulation. According to the OM philosophy, focused manual contact with the nerve-rich clitoris generates electric sexual energy that has therapeutic benefits for both parties involved. In the OM environment, women get to feel safe, accepted and non-pressured enough to dive into the depths of their own desire, and whoever’s stroking them gets to explore the more “feminine” sexuality of goalless sensuality, plus, quite frankly, learn his or her way around a pussy (“pussy” is the term of choice in OM).
Within the practice, there’s an overarching mantra of “no-commerce” which keeps things simple. There are no expectations. No owesies. To experience pleasure, you don’t have to have a 20-minute discussion about your life philosophy over drinks at whatever “date-night spot” Yelp rated the highest. All you have to do is walk into one of their classes, learn the philosophy, find a partner and get your clit massaged. When you’re done, you go about your merry way feeling confident, rejuvenated and more in touch with your sexuality.
“It’s about injecting consciousness into sexuality,” says Lynn Brewer-Muse, co-director of OneTaste Denver, a local program that teaches and facilitates OM around the Denver area.
Women who OM report that they experience more frequent, more powerful orgasms, increased sexual confidence, increased relaxation in social situations, and an increased ability to connect with others both inside and outside the bedroom. They also feel more comfortable communicating with their partners about their needs, and learn they have value as people and sexual partners.
“It’s a cumulative thing where the more you do it, the more benefits you get from it,” Lynn says. “It’s helped me relax in social and sexual situations because it’s made me more sure of myself. I’ve been able to connect with my partner, coworkers and my family more than ever.”
Using OM embrace orgasm and your own sexuality is strangely therapeutic, even outside the sexual sphere. Learning to ask for what you need and that you can follow your desire to obtain the things you want is tantamount for confidence and happiness.
“The same what I can ask for an adjustment in an OM, I can ask for an adjustment in sex, so that I’m getting the sex that I actually want,” continues Lynn. “Not only do I feel more sensation in the moment, but actually helps me feel more confident knowing that I can ask for what I want and get it.”
OM isn’t just for people who can’t orgasm though; it’s for anyone who’s looking for connection, confidence, and heightened awareness. Plenty of women who can orgasm learn the practice because OM-ing makes them orgasm better.
“I will say, my capacity for climax is dramatically increased its range. Since I started OM-ing, there’s definitely more sensation available because those nerve endings are activated more,” says Lynn.
Consider us convinced. Now, if someone could just devise a meditation practice to help us understand what to do with balls …
The fine print: to OM, you must be 18 or older, and you have to be sober during the session. No white zin for you, Martha. To learn to OM contact OneTaste Denver at firstname.lastname@example.org.
That OM Stroke
How to achieve the signature OM rubdown.
1. Body grounding: A few moments where the stroker gently touches the strokee’s legs to gently ease into what’s to come (literally). The stroker announces what he’s doing before he does it so the strokee knows what to expect.
2. Value-neutral description: The stroker gives a value-neutral description to the strokee, which helps reduce her vigilance center, making her more relaxed. Something like, “Your labia is pink.”
Lube + grounding strokes: OneTaste’s specially formulated lube is applied at the base of the introitus (vaginal opening) and distributed around the labia and clitoris.
3. Clitoral stimulation: About 13 minutes of up and down strokes using the pointer finger of the stroker’s left hand, focusing on the 1 o’clock area of the clit, at the strokee’s desired pressure and speed. No swirls or figure eights, just north to south. Stroker’s thumb remains at the base of the introitus.
4. Grounding: Two minutes of long, up and down strokes covering the entire area from the clit to the introitus and back up to help ensure the strokee doesn’t walk away with massive blue clit.