How to tell a joke according to the scariest man on earth, Gordon Ramsay

How to tell a joke according to the scariest man on earth, Gordon Ramsay

VicesJuly 25, 2014

You don't have to be funny for people to laugh at you, a fact that world's most terrifying man Gordon Ramsay exemplifies in his daily existence as he summons the power of evil to scream hilarious profanities at nice chef people on TV. So naturally, we thought he'd be the perfect person to glean for humor tips ...

1. Never underestimate the power of a good pie in the face.

2. When making comparison jokes, incorporate familial references, like your drunk uncle or even drunker uncle.

3. Sex jokes relieve the sexual tension we face in our everyday lives. When you tell a sex joke and someone laughs, they're basically ejaculating with their mind.

4. If you're looking for humorous inspiration, look no further than the tragic 1912 sinking of the Titanic. "I'm gonna go down on you like the Titanic." See?

5. Politics and international relations are touchy, but unifying subjects. Don't be afraid to go there.

6. LOL, he said "weiner!" Get it?

7. It's always hilarious when you show people one thing, then call it another, like calling your tattoo of Bon Jovi's face an "unfortunate birthmark."

8. Current events called, and they want you to use them in your jokes. Thanks!

9. Fact: you can bend the rules of the English language to accentuate your punch line.

10. Saying that something is like a bison's penis is a joke in itself. Let's try it ... "This article is like a bison's penis." Yep, it works.

11. "Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road" jokes are timeless and deceptively simple, but brilliant when executed correctly.

12. Anything's funny if you're saying it from the inside of a walk-in cooler. Get out of there!

13. A rapid change in personality shows your versatility ... and that your meds are finally working!

14. Physical humor is in a league of its own. But as Gordon demonstrates, no one ever hates a good old fashioned mute seal impression!

15. Lastly, if all else fails and you can't tell a joke to save your life, don't worry. People will still laugh at you, even when they're not laughing with you. Thanks Gordon.