Being a woman who likes porn doesn't mean I'm a pervert with daddy issues

Being a woman who likes porn doesn't mean I'm a pervert with daddy issues

CultureJanuary 12, 2016 By Stephanie March

I’ve been paying particular attention to Pennsylvania’s “Porngate” scandal recently. In short, there’s a ton of craziness happening, including extreme bouts of racism, sexism, pedophilia and bestiality … the list is incredible. Over 10,000 offensive emails have been exposed, most of them containing explicit jokes, racially charged memes, offensive banter and other communicative efforts one would expect from ignorant teens, not political leaders. The people involved are wicked, and are finally being held accountable for their disturbing actions.

But there’s nothing new about politicians being caught up in a porny sex scandal. The extents to which some politicians are crucified for doing what the rest of us do daily (and sometimes hourly), however, is starting to wear upon my sexually healthy, porn-loving soul. It’s not abnormal to watch and enjoy porn, as media reports of the scandal try to lead everyone to believe. It’s natural to want to watch porn. Really.

The central issue in scandal shouldn’t be the pornography, as it so often is, because what's problematic are the uptight, repressed asshats creating an unattainable moral compass that the rest of us don’t want to adhere to. And it’s time for this porn-hating, judgmental shit to stop.

According to a ridiculously colorful chart recently released by PornHub, there were 21.2 billion visits to its website in 2015, which breaks down to about 2.4 million per hour, 40,000 per minute and 6,700 per second.

The visitors aren’t just a couple hundred “perverts” checking out what’s new in the amateur section. This is a shit-ton of people watching sexually stimulating awesomeness. To boot, it’s not just men either. According to the graph, at almost every hour of the day, women are just as likely (if not more likely) to be watching porn than men.

The most important thing to take away from the statistics is that women are actually watching porn, a lot of it. And we fucking like it.

In my experience, I’ve heard far too many times that women who enjoy porn must’ve been sexually abused or are “fucked up” in some way. To be real, hearing that does nothing except piss me off. It’s time to stop blaming a woman’s past sexual experiences on their current sexual preferences.

As a sexually free and empowered woman, let me set the record straight: Most women like porn because it’s sexy, not because of a traumatic sexual experience. There’s nothing wrong with us. Likewise, can we all agree to stop holding women to the “Madonna” standard? It’s 2016 — we’re allowed to watch whatever and have sex with whomever we so choose. Stay the fuck out of our bedrooms.

Porn doesn’t make people perverts. In fact, it can be a healthy sexual outlet for anyone who enjoys visual stimulation. Watching porn also reduces stress and helps those with high sexual drives release sexual tension in order to focus. If you don’t think it’s real? Try being turned on while attempting to concentrate on your TPS reports. Focus is impossible. 

It’s also useful if you’re in a happy, healthy relationship. Watching porn as a couple can strengthen the relationship, and may take away those pesky inhibitions. If porn ever becomes a problem in an otherwise “healthy relationship,” there was likely a lack of communication and a severe sexual issue that was left unaddressed. Healthy porn lovers aren’t cause for blame in a failed marriage or relationship.

Of course, everyone can have opinions about porn. Those who oppose it are allowed to hate it and call everyone who loves it perverts and sexual deviants — but they may want to one day wake up and take a fucking realistic look around.

Sex and porn can be an empowering experience. Though it often makes its way into political scandals as the ever-ruling devil, it simply isn’t the demon everyone is after. I’m not asking anyone to watch if they don’t want to, I’m simply asking that the judging of those who do enjoy it becomes a thing of the past.