'I'll screw the first row at your funeral' (and other funny foreign curses)
American cursing can be monotonous. How many times can you tell someone to "eat me" or "suck my soggy smegma"? It's boring.
Yet, travel offers amazing opportunities to broaden yourself by learning new words and phrases, not just about the diseases infecting your pant parts, but also new insults to get yourself properly punched in the face.
The consensus is that the Serbian people insult each other best, with phrases like "I hope your mother gives birth to an open umbrella" and "I will fuck the first row at your funeral." But every country has their own fantastic fight-starters. Here are some of the most ridiculous and hilarious insults from around the world. Yay, multiculturalism!
"I shit in the milk of your mother."
"Let the rats ejaculate on you."
"You eat pubic hair with salt-dip."
"I hope you get cramps while taking a shit."
"You sit down to pee." (Said to a man like the one we interviewed.)
"May you urinate into the wind and sip on it."
Cào nǐ zǔzōng shíbā dài (操你祖宗十八代)
"Fuck the 18 generations of your ancestors."
Jiào nǐ shēng háizi méi pìgu yǎn (叫你生孩子没屁股眼)
"May your child be born with a closed-off butthole."
"You ejaculate onto a dog's photograph."
"I would dry my dirty underwear on your mother’s crucifix."
- Saudi Arabia
"A thousand dicks in your religion."
Be proud that we Americans still have some amazing curses of our own, from "eat the peanuts out of my shit" to "the last smart thing to come out of your mouth was my dick." But give these foreign cultures credit for their creativity and filthy minds. Now, "por favor, chupe mantequilla de me culo," as the Spanish say, and kindly suck butter out of my ass.