Instant Comedian: 2 jokes to make the hump-day less soul crushing

Instant Comedian: 2 jokes to make the hump-day less soul crushing

VicesJune 10, 2015

Misplaced Pen
A doctor walked into a bank. Preparing to endorse a check, he pulled a rectal thermometer out of his shirt pocket and tried to ‘write’ with it. Realizing his mistake, he looked at the thermometer with annoyance and said, “Well that’s great, just great... some asshole’s got my pen.

 

Where do lawyers come from?
A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn’t sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, “Do you enjoy it?” She said that she did. He asked, “Does it hurt you?” She said no. The Doctor then told her, “Well, then, there’s no reason that you shouldn’t practice anal sex, if that’s what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant.” The woman was mystified. She asked, “You can get pregnant from anal sex?” The Doctor replied, “Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?”