It's pumpkin killin' time: your handy guide to festive pumpkin slaughter
This pumpkin hater does not like pumpkins. No. Not one bit. Maybe his mom dropped him "on a pumpkin as a kid or something." Maybe a pumpkin picked on him in grade school. Maybe one parked in his parking spot. Whatever the reason, this man is on a murderous rampage and is dead-set on eliminating the detestable scourge that is the pumpkin. Here's his handy guide that'll show you exactly how to put at end to the Frankenstein-esque squash that's responsible for the rash of pumpkin lattes and dubious doorstep decorations of late. It's pumpkin killin' time!