Justin Bieber might not have been drag racing after all...but let's still pretend he was

Justin Bieber might not have been drag racing after all...but let's still pretend he was

VicesJanuary 31, 2014

Listen up teenage girls who should be paying attention in class and 40 year-old-dudes with a certain guilty pleasure, we've got some breaking Bieber news. GPS records tracking his car's speed show that he wasn't even speeding when he was pulled over, and that the police lied about pretty much everything that happened that night. Oh, the drama!

Turns out the little shit wasn't even drag racing, let alone speeding, when he was pulled over. Although cops claimed he was going 55 or 60 mph, the GPS records show the maximum speed he reached was 44 mph, and was going 27 mph when he was pulled over. The speed limit was 30 mph.

Are you foaming at the mouth yet? Well stop, because there's more. Cops claimed that two Escalades had blocked off the street so Justin and his playdate Kahlil could drag race, but GPS records obtained from those vehicles show that neither one stopped rolling until he was arrested. That would mean it would be impossible for them to have been parked, blocking the street.

Okay, so maybe Justin wasn't drag racing, and maybe that makes him 0.0001% less of a terrible tween with a bad case of puberty, but we don't care. We're just going to casually pretend that he was drag racing all the live long night because, the thought of him being deported back to Canada helps us sleep better at night. At least he was definitely high on pills and weed though. That makes us feel much better.