Lady offers massage with her boobs. Where do we sign up?

Lady offers massage with her boobs. Where do we sign up?

CultureSeptember 12, 2013

Boobs! They've finally unleashed their potential for therapeutic artistry and are now being used to give healing massages...or at least they are when they're attached to boobalicious babe Kristy Love.

Kristy is a massage specialist in Atlanta who advertises herself like so:

THE premiere CMT BBW body rub specialist taking Atlanta AND the world to an all new level of BBW adult entertainment.

Yeah, sugar! Sure, she'll give you a regular old "normal" massage, but she specializes in something called "happy man works," which involves her rubbing her gigantic 48NN boobs all over you, for just $300 an hour. She justifies the mammary massage as being meant to "keep you focused in the present and give you the opportunity to experience all aspects of your nature not just a part of your persona." Because nothing keeps you focused on all aspects of yourself more than having mega-boobs plopped down on your head. Nothing. Sigh.

Kristy's got a few other tricks up her sleeve too, such as "body gliding," where she covers herself in oil and slides her titties all over you (they're 28 pounds so that probably feels pretty sweet), and "squashing," during which you fight to stay alive, gasping for air under the weight of her body. But she doesn't play around when she's squashing; she's ever-vigilant about their safety and comfort:

I have to keep an eye out when I'm squashing someone," she said, according to the Daily Mirror. "I look at their feet and their fingers to make sure there is still movement there and they’re still breathing.

Thank god somebody finally understands what we like; being massaged to the brink of asphyxiation! Oh, and did we mention she does prostates too? Here's an excerpt from her site explaining the EXQUISITE services she provides.

She makes $1,300 a day, which is on par with a surgeon or the fuckin' president of the United States. Needless to say, business is boobing. Wait, sorry: "booming." Shit...cut to video!