Man called "Hotcock" convicted of having sex with a Land Rover
UK guy Daniel Cooper- wait, sorry, "Hotcock," as he likes to be called, has been charged with indecent exposure after surveillance cameras caught him getting naked and trying to have sex with a Land Rover 4x4 Discovery on August 18th. Hopefully, there was a little 4x4-play (get it!) that went down...sex with cars is so much better when the engine is revved and lubed (Aaand, cue courtesy laugh).
But, Hotcock's amorous mood wasn't limited to automobiles that night. You better believe he was cheating on that Land Rover with at least two other known inanimate objects. Surveillance footage also busted him making sweet, air love to a sensual counter at a kebab restaurant, and trying to stick it in the slutty floor at the same establishment.
To top off his reign of terror, Hotcock urinated in the street, apparently exhausted from the amount of non-sex he had that night.
The Land Rover was not impressed.
A British court has prohibited him from going outside between 7 PM and 7 AM on the fun days; Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, for three months, effectively prohibiting Hotcock from partying. The only thing better than that is this f-ing hilarious video that illustrates his wild night using 90's screen saver animations: