Man demonstrates understanding and jumps to his death after girlfriend insists on buying more shoes.

Man demonstrates understanding and jumps to his death after girlfriend insists on buying more shoes.

VicesDecember 10, 2013

Everyone has a breaking point. The moment of clarity when the current situation comes into perspective and you have a deep realization that the situation is shit. For some of us, we handle it with grace. And for others, well, they jump off the mall balcony and plummet to their death. Tao Hsiao chose the latter. 

During a five-hour shopping day with his girlfriend, Tao decided he'd had enough and wanted to go home. Aware of Tao's anger, the girlfriend insisted they go into yet another store for the amazing half price shoe sell that was occurring for Christmas. Tao wasn't a happy camper. 

According to an eyewitness:

"He told her she already had enough shoes, more shoes that she could wear in a lifetime, and it was pointless buying any more. She started shouting at him, accusing him of being a skinflint, and of spoiling Christmas. It was a really heated argument."

No body tells Tao he's being a skinflint and spoiling Christmas. It was time for him to act. Doing the most logical thing possible, he chucked the bags on the floor and jumped over the balcony, smashing into Christmas decorations on his way down before hitting the floor seven stories below.

Sadly, Tao didn't survive the fall. Emergency services declared him dead upon arrival. 

For those stunned and shocked by Christmas drama, a Chinese spokesperson comforted the masses with an empathetic ode to keep shopping while managing stress levels: 

"His body was removed fairly quickly. He actually landed on one of the stalls below and then fell to the floor so although the store was damaged it meant he didn't hit anybody.

"This is a tragic incident, but this time of year can be very stressful for many people."

To some this might be a story of an insane man, but to every boyfriend who's sat idly by while their girlfriend shops, this is a story of a hero. A man who couldn't stand being in the mall one more second... although he'd already spent a staggering five hours shoe shopping. Nonetheless, Tao couldn't take another minute of Steve Madden, Prada, Gucci or Toms and chose his fate. Sure, jumping over the balcony and plunging seven floors to his death might have been somewhat excessive and beyond the normal protocol of dispute resolution but how else was he going to prove his point that the relationship was over? If more men were like Tao, well, we'd probably have a lot of mall suicides on our hands. But Tao didn't care about the clean-up, he was out to set the record straight for all of mankind and for that, we thank him.