McDonald's sued for $1.5M by real American who wanted more than one napkin
A McDonald's customer is suing the pants off the restaurant following a claim that he suffered "undue mental anguish" after he was given just one napkin. And by 'pants' we mean 1.5 million dollars. Looks like McDonald's is going to need a lot more than one napkin to clean that mess up, hardy har har!
The man, Webster Lucas of Pacoima, California, was enjoying his McDonald's slop when, in a moment of dismay, his hands became unbearably dirty. Looking around in a panic for a napkin, he noticed that his table, like his hands, was full of burger detritus. His heart sank and his skin crawled as he became aware of the filth that lurked around him. His heart beat, adrenaline coursing through his veins, as he reached into his burger bag for a napkin savior and pulled out ... one, solitary napkin. Insufficient.
Would he use it to wipe his hands? Would he use it to clean off the table? What kind of sick Sophie's Choice situation was this? His brain, unable to compute a reasonable reaction, boiled and fizzled and snapped.
A manager walked by.
Webster confessed his plight to the manager, complaining that he only had but one napkin to ameliorate the grime. "You gave me one," he said. "Do you want me to wipe my hands on my shirt?"
The manager, Angel Arciga, told him he had napkins in his bag. And then, according to the suit, Angel developed what was described as a "nasty attitude" about the situation, using the phrase "You people" over and over, as if that ever ends up well. Webster tried to explain to him that he didn't have to get all bitchy over a few extra napkins, but Angel wasn't having it, and began to curse and freak out at Webster.
Webster's friend Victor, who witnessed the encounter, told police that Angel was "aggressively disrespectful" towards Webster over the napkin issue. A McDonald's employee also said that Angel "did that to most black men." Webster later emailed McDonald's GM Leticia Barrera to report the issue.
In his email, Webster insisted that the "undue mental anguish" he was suffering as a result of the napkin debacle left him unable to work. McDonald's offered him a few free burgers to make up for the apocalyptic encounter, but that didn't work because Webster had since converted to Jack-in-the-Box, explaining that there's no "arguing over napkins" there. Instead, Webster would like a crisp $1.5M for his troubles, hoping that the lawsuit will teach McDonald's a lesson about napkin etiquette.
We'd just like to point out that this whole situation could have been avoided if people still had the panache to wear bibs.