Meet the young man collecting dick pic statistics of wieners around the world
“This is probably the world’s biggest, most detailed, and most significant research on dicks,” says György Szűcs, 29-year-old Hungarian CEO of Creative Robot digital studio and founder of Dick Code, the innovative dick pic illustrator.
When Szűcs first released Dick Code one year ago, its reinvention of the modern-day dick pic took the world by storm. By allowing users to select images that best describe their dong — including its shape, color, length, veiny-ness, curvature, cum range and cum rate — men could create a more tasteful, honest portrayal of their penis than any poorly-lit pixelated smartphone dick pic snapped in the bathroom with the piss-crusted toilet in the background.
In the year since Szűcs introduced Dick Code to the world, nearly 2 million users have created realistic illustrations of their manhood. All those selections of different dick descriptors added up to something huge, he soon realized. By the end of 2017, he’d amassed a massive number of dick statistics — 17 million data inputs of penises from 50 different countries — and likely history’s greatest collection of dick pic data from weiners around the world.
“I don’t think anybody else has ever collected this research before,” Szűcs says excitedly. He shared his newfound knowledge to the Dick Code website, arranged by country and adjustable by largest to smallest size, circumference, curve, foreskin and cum-shooting arc, or most to least pubes, hairiness, circumcision and cum shots.
A few things about the results stood out to Szűcs. “In Kenya and Nigeria, the size is pretty huge, but the curve and amount of cum are super low,” he says. “Almost everything about the dicks in Malaysia is terrible.”
Want to figure out which country will have your ideal cock? Dick Code’s got you covered. Scroll to the very bottom of the site, and give weight to each category based on your personal preferences. Click “sort,” and the table will arrange the data to suit your taste in genitals.
“This feature gives you countries that have the best dick for you, and you can make your travel plans around that,” Szűcs says. As a gay man, he’s no stranger to pecker preferences. “Based on what I like, I should definitely consider visiting Israel and Italy.”
It’s possible, of course, that the wealth of Dick Code data isn’t necessarily a perfect reflection of penises around the world. The science of measuring meat sticks is a tricky one. In reporting the size of their penis, men are highly likely to delude themselves into thinking they’ve got a python of a trouser snake. Short of researchers manhandling millions of other fella’s dicks to take down exact calculations of their dimensions, there’s no surefire way to get stats on an average dong.
What’s more, some of Dick Code’s users are women sending their friends illustrations of their boyfriend’s penis, or the penis they wish their boyfriend had. “Some people use it for the dick they want, not necessarily the dick they have, Szűcs says.
However, given the wealth of data collected, it’s highly likely the Dick Code statistics are the closest thing we have to a symbolic dick pic of all humanity.
With the culturally-diverse data Szűcs has accumulated, it’s finally possible to average all the planet’s penises, creating one universal, awe-inspiring shlong. No race, no language, no differing political stances. Just a melting pot of pubes, foreskins and cum loads to represent the world.