Men are paying women for honest opinions about their penises
Send her 20 bucks. Send her a few flattering pictures of your penis. Tell her what type of reaction you’d like — perhaps untamed arousal, perhaps utter disgust. In short time, receive a written report card critiquing the appearance of your cock. Just ten dollars more, and she’ll throw in a nude video reaction featuring commentary on the length, girth, veins, and grooming of your manhood.
This customized sex service is offered by a number of women in a customized sex marketplace, Reddit’s r/sexsells community. There, ladies sell used panties, home-made movies, domination games, and any other kinky offering a man can think of. The newest service to take the sexsells community by storm, as exposed in an article from Mel Magazine, is personalized penis reviews.
Eevie Bellini (a.k.a. “The Banana Butcher”) is one of the market’s popular providers of dick evaluations. She initially had no idea about the demand for dick reviews, until one used-panty customer asked for her opinion on his dong.
Bellini reflects, “I said, ‘Sure, why not? Let me review this internet stranger’s dick.’” With a creative writing background, prolific penis rating came naturally to her. She wrote up a three-paragraph-long schlong assessment, and the schlong’s owner was thrilled.
“Apparently my first attempt at a cock rating was the best he’s ever had — and he’d had his dick rated many many other times. He declared me a wizard with words and left me a glowing review. Now, boys flock to me to have their dicks rated,” Bellini says.
Sex providers say cock critiques were a natural evolution of their services. Seller Laceylala, who’s been in the sexsells business since graduating college five years ago, explains, “Basically the idea was, ‘Tons of guys send us dick pics all the time anyway; so why not try to monetize that?’”
Although these ladies allow clients to request reactions like adoration or disgust, most men opt for total truthfulness. “I think most guys are looking for an honest opinion, since it’s not generally something they get a chance to hear in everyday life,” says Schoolgirlsubslut, yet another r/sexsells penis rating provider. She admits, “I try to be as honest as I can without being too harsh.”
Men trust the objective judgment of these seasoned sex professionals. “In the case of sellers, especially the more popular ones, you know they’ve seen a wide variety of cocks in all shapes, sizes and colors,” one customer explains. “Asking one of them to rate me seemed like the most surefire way to get an unbiased perspective.”
His anxiety surrounding the appearance of his penis isn’t uncommon. After all, women aren’t the only gender susceptible to feeling self-conscious about their genitals given the unrealistic standards set by pornography.
Despite positive feedback from the women who have seen/held/handled their manhood, most fellas still suffer from a lingering fear that they’ve been lied to. The suspicion that their penis is smaller (and therefore less satisfactory) than the average schlong haunts them — so they cough up cold, hard cash to soothe their fears.
Schoolgirlsubslut acknowledges the value of her dick reviews in relieving this anxiety. “I suppose it does offer guys some confidence in themselves since porn is so overwhelmingly flooded with ridiculously enormous dicks that it can be hard to discern whether you are in fact normal,” she says.
Among all the things money can buy in the creative community of r/sexsells, who’d have thought you could purchase peace of mind?