Miley Cyrus lights up a joint on stage at the EMAs. Americans seem to be the only people in the world bothered by it.

Miley Cyrus lights up a joint on stage at the EMAs. Americans seem to be the only people in the world bothered by it.

MusicNovember 11, 2013

Does it concern anyone else that some of the biggest news stories of the country in the last ten years have been about what performers do on stage? It isn’t even so much that they were pushing hardcore boundaries, either, because we’re talking about artists who are doing things like: allowing a pierced nipple to slip out of her top, a man kissing another man, and a coming-of-sexuality popstress fake-fucking a foam finger. Hold on…yep, we just checked. It is 2013, we’re not dreaming.

So when it came through our feed this morning that America has its red, white and blue panties in a proverbial knot over something Miley Cyrus did at the European Music Awards – again - we were flabbergasted. Bewildered! Dumbfounded! Apparently the “Wrecking Ball” star smoked a – dare we say it – joint on stage!

NOOOOOOO! Think of the children!

What’s worse is that the EMAs took place this year in the acclaimed Ziggo Dome. It’s located in Amsterdam. You know, that one place we all dreamed of visiting a few years back because the rumor flew around our high schools that we could actually walk around with weed and not go to jail? Ahh, we have but such fond memories of a time when weed was illegal here, yes?

Photographers captured the major doper sucking down a goofy grass hit in what was surely an extremely blasé circumstance in the more enlightened country than our own. But it left a taste in stateside broadcasters mouths that fell by the wayside in the later telecast, which conveniently omitted the wacky huff.

What was perfectly ok for programmers here, however, was Snoop Dogg’s performance of “Gin and Juice” and Will Ferrell’s character, Ron Burgundy, accidentally going into a coffee shop and ingesting a marijuana brownie without his knowledge.

Oh double standards, how we love you so
Shall we count the ways
1, 2, 3
We thinks its time for you to go