Modern civilization as we know is now proudly sponsored by weed

Modern civilization as we know is now proudly sponsored by weed

VicesApril 29, 2014

The Colorado Symphony Orchestra has announced a new performance series sponsored by none other than your good friend Bud. We mean Mary Jane. Whatever, fuck it- weed. Weed is now propagating high-minded culture as we know it, so suck it rich people with a refined sense of arts and culture.

Pro-pot promoter Edible Events is organizing the concerts, which will start May 23rd with three bring-your-own-cannabis events at the Space Galley in Denver. Later on in the year, the cannabis concerts will culminate with a cascading crescendo at Red Rocks, where stoners, yuppies and mixtures of the two can share their mutual passion in feigning interest in non-dubstep music. The shows are being billed as fundraisers for the CSO, which will curate a themed program of classical music for each show.

Finally, the orchestra, the financially-wrought emblem of sophistication, has caught on to the fact that only people who are stoned out of their mind can get through Beethoven's 4th without going unconscious. And if they do, it's not because the music is obsolete, it's just because they got and indica called "Lemon Lunesta Love" or something.

CSO executive director Jerry Kern said the cannabis concerts will "help the orchestra reach beyond its conservative, fine arts demographic while raising money for an organization that has struggled financially in recent years." Very smart; get people to come to your orchestra show by marketing it as a stoner paradise.

“We see ourselves as connecting classical music with all of Colorado,” said Kern. “Part of our goal is to bring in a younger audience and a more diverse audience, and I would suggest that the patrons of the cannabis industry are both younger and more diverse than the patrons of the symphony orchestra.” You would suggest right, Jerry Kern!

Now, if we could just get weed to sponsor our sad attempt at proving our dads wrong by becoming paper mache sculpture artists ... oh wait, it already does.