This month in following trends: Automatic pizza is in, raw water is ridiculous

This month in following trends: Automatic pizza is in, raw water is ridiculous

CultureFebruary 06, 2018

Driverless Pizza Delivery
You’ve seen something eerily similar on the new season of Black Mirror, but Pizza Hut and Ford have actually made it a reality. Our dreams of never having to speak to humans again are so close we can taste its greasy pepperoni flavor.


Protest Traveling
Younger generations are increasingly saying “Fuck Coachella” and “where’s the front-line at?” Traveling specifically to attend rallies and protests is on the come-up of weekend to-dos. Make them hear you.

Cannabis Workouts
Decrepit out-of-touch politicians are wrong!? The hell you say? More and more, people are using cannabis as a workout accessory, with data, studies and personal accounts supporting its benefits. Bro.

Lavender
Don't worry, fashion blogs are still out there telling you what to wear. This year, they all say "Lavender is the new black!" So according to them, whatever you bought new a few months ago that is perfectly wearable suck. Throw it out. Consume!

Automation
You want $15 an hour just to fold shirts at Zumiez or take orders on a touch screen? And you think multi-national corporations will just say, “Okay Susan, sure”? Automation is coming, whether you want it to or not. Time to get creative.

‘80s Steeze
What in the ever-loving … listen, everyone. Listen. Time is a spectrum and those bygone decades of neon and sustainable blow are over. Figure out how you want to define your generation and stick with it. Shoulder pads are shit and everyone knows it. (Hypocrisy from above noted.) 

Raw Water
Someone went and did it: they took a bunch of likely contaminated water, jugged it up and sold it to a bunch of white people. You can’t be mad at them though, if someone is stupid enough to down a bunch of brown liquid without a factory seal, Darwin it is. Enough with this hyped-up diet shit, we’re better than this.

[cover photo by Kristina Bratko on Unsplash]