Music News November Edition
Katy Perry Comes to Colorado. Swell.
It looks as though the only thing our Colorado public school system is good for is turning pubescent pop culture fanatics into “Glee” hopefuls. Lakewood High School students choreographed a four-minute rendition of Katy Perry’s inspirationally deep hit “Roar,” which was then submitted to an ABC nationwide contest to see what school would get a private concert from the ex-Mrs. Brand. The video showcases the entire Lakewood Tigers student body lip-singing, dancing and proving SATs are overrated and Youtube stardom is a new thing. Sadly, they won. So the cheerleading-clad pop star traveled to colorful Colorado where we’re sure she inspired, motivated, and confessed that Russell Brand’s penis is much bigger than John Mayer’s.
Jesus and Yeezus together at last
Just when we think Kanye can’t outdo himself, he does something so ridiculous, so ostentatious, so narcissistic that we can’t help but thank journalism gods for helping us reach our word counts. This time, Kayne launched his tour. Sounds dull, we understand. But if you’re lucky enough to attend said tour, you’ll catch a glimpse of Jesus himself (or an actor for the cynics.)Thats right, during the show, Jesus appears out of Kanye’s 80-foot-tall mountain prop, and begins talking with Kanye about his mission in life. Something tells us impregnating one of the Kardashians wasn’t in that speech. The tour has been postponed already due to technical malfunctions. Turns out, the real man above doesn’t like being part of a hip-hop musical.
Eminem drops ‘Marshall Mathers LP 2’
On Nov. 5, Eminem will release his eighth studio album, proving even after a number of previous album titles that read like a tumultuous stint in rehab ( “Encore,” “Relapse” and “Recovery”), he’s still fighting the good fight- only with a new hair color. The “Marshall Mathers LP 2” features guest spots from Rihanna, Kendrick Lamar and fun. singer Nate Ruess. We’re excited to see what his new lyric material entails considering Kim is probably re-married, Haley’s off to college and 8 Mile is now the good part of Detroit. That does leave an homage to ‘80s rap open for use.