Nintendo reveals Luigi has a girthy penis that bends to the right
The new Italian stallion has arrived.
Today kids, we’re going to analyze what Luigi’s penis shape and size tell us about the fictional Italian plumber; this after us and fellow Nintendo fans have gone bananas over new images that show the outline of Luigi’s dick.
The younger yet taller fraternal twin to It’s a me! Mario, was portrayed in recent marketing material for the upcoming June 22, 2018 release of Mario Tennis Aces for Nintendo Switch. And I’m not sure if it’s the lighting, but the angle and clarity in which Luigi’s man-bulge is emphasized gives us a glance at the shape and size of his wang.
Unlike flat Ken dolls, the Nintendo game creators at Camelot must have been going for a more realistic rendering of the sidekick brother. Perhaps all it took was changing him from blue overalls to athletic shorts. (We’re just thankful it wasn’t a full-on ball-shot). Meanwhile, promo images of Mario reveal no such bulge. Then again, he’s always been the shorter brother.
Luigi, although first created not as a unique character but a palette swap of Mario with a green color scheme instead of red, has since grown into his own ... in every sense of the word. And from what we can tell from the Mario Tennis Aces image, Luigi is packing an average penis, girthier rather than longer, with a banana curve to the right — or about 3.7 inches flaccid according to expert analysis.
The difference between Tumblr and Twitter is that Twitter users are all upset about Luigi's dick bulge because they're so fucking basic and Tumblr users are doing Algebra to figure out that it's roughly 3.7" flacid and they're so happy for him to have a dick. pic.twitter.com/BlQynFRaZd— Christopher Butcher (@Comics212) March 15, 2018
What does this means for Luigi? For starters, there’s no surprise he’s never settled down with one of Peach’s friends.
According to a 2014 study, women actually prefer girth to length in partners for one-night stands. For the study, women were shown 3D molds of different sized manhoods ranging from 4 inches long and 2.5 inches in circumference to 8.5 inches long and 7 inches in circumference, and asked to pick which of the models they would prefer for a one-time partner, and which they would prefer for a long-term partner. “For one night stands, women selected penis models with slightly larger girth, on average, than those they selected for long-term relationships,” said the study.
Other personality indicators that may suggest Luigi is packing substantial heat include that he is “quiet and humble,” and “tall and skinny,” according to one such list titled “Ways You Can Tell He’s Big.” (Bad news for Bowser).
Furthermore, Italy is third on the list of greatest average penis size, following Poland and Austria.
As for Luigi’s banana bend, it’s completely normal and natural. Most men have a curve in their penis that often straightens when erect. However, Cosmopolitan does suggest a variety of bedroom poses specifically for men with a more pronounced curve in their Johnson.
But back to Nintendo ... we’re curious to see if the new tennis game gives a better sense of whether Luigi’s junk was in fact the result of great lighting and Photoshop, or if this Italian Stallion really is the bigger brother.