Nobody jacks off on Christmas or New Years anymore

Nobody jacks off on Christmas or New Years anymore

SexNovember 22, 2013

Apparently, getting into the holiday spirit doesn't always mean getting into anyone's pants. Especially your own. According to PornHub's page view analysis, people watch significantly less porn on holidays and days on which major news events took place, like the Super Bowl. Because nothing kills the mood more than the birth of Christ or the death of Osama bin Laden, are we right?

For example, on Christmas Eve, worldwide fapping declined an average of 22%...except for in Japan. Evidently, not even rosy-nosed Santa and his reindeers could kill those boners.

On Christmas Day worldwide porn viewing was still down everywhere except for Japan, where it actually increased. Yeah, we guess Jesus can be kind of sexy sometimes...

Thanksgiving Day turned everyone in America off so much, that people made sweet, passionate love to themselves 29% less. Sigh. It's the only day of the year where people care more about turkey than they do about boobs.

The day Osama bin Laden was killed is a somber day for Americans, as well as their libidos.

But the most un-arousing day of the entire year is New Year's Eve. Around the world, there was a 28% drop in porn viewing. Maybe it's a massive, global case of whiskey-dick. Maybe it's that everyone gets laid on New Years and has no need for their old, loyal friend Porn. Or maybe, people start trolling classier sites than PornHub, because it is New Year's after all, and they made it through the whole year, and they deserve a goddamn treat every once and a while, okay?

But there is one very special day that really got American's juices flowing: the iPad 1 Release Date. People just couldn't keep their hands off themselves, or their brand new, fully porn-capable iPads. 'Merica!