Old lady cow bras and presidential ass-slappers: This is Naked News Now

Old lady cow bras and presidential ass-slappers: This is Naked News Now

SexMay 11, 2018

Want sexual enlightenment, but only have time for a quickie? Every week, we recap the most interesting sex headlines from around the world.

1. VICE explores the "nerdy and uncomfortable world of wedgie fetishes" — so, there's that ...

2. One enterprising farm couple in Scotland found a unique way to keep their cows from getting mastitis: an old bra. A friend of the couple sees the cheekiness of it all, saying, "In Scotland, we've just come through a hard winter but we've retained our sense of humour through that." So udderly cute. 

3. Uproxx interviewed sex workers about how they plan to push back against SESTA-FOSTA (known in the Senate as the Stop Enabling Sexual Traffickers Act and the House as the Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act). "Backpage getting raided meant that SESTA wasn’t even relevant to the capturing the Boogeyman they used to rally behind it,” said Anna Moones, a queer adult performer. 

4. Spotify announced it will restrict access to artists involved in "hate conduct and hateful conduct" while simultaneously yanking people like XXXTentacion, R. Kelly and others from any type of promotion or playlist entries. Both of those artists have been accused of actions ranging from sexual battery to kidnappings to assault to whatever else douchebags do.

5. A husband and wife duo that charged a boat-load of cash to have sex with people and were subsequently charged and convicted for it have both escaped prison. Nice. 

6. Harvey Weinstein's wife, Georgina Chapman, says in a new interview that she was completely blindsided by the behavior of the person closest to her. "There was a part of me that was terribly naive — clearly, so naive,” she said to Vogue. Uhhh ...

7. Porn star and presidential ass-slaper Stormy Daniels bathed herself again in the waterfall of headlines after bravely admitting she was not, repeat not, involved in the controversial NXIVM sex cult. Yes, that's what qualifies as news now, drink it in. ...

8. More than 20 years after the presidential scandal came to light, former chief of everything Bill Clinton still can't stop humiliating Monica Lewinsky. At a recent Town & Country charity event, she was invited, and then uninvited, because Bill "The Blue Dress" Clinton decided to roll through. This lady just can't catch a break. 

9. Old ladies want to fuck younger dudes. This at least according to Mona Chalabi, a New York Times journalist famous for her data visualizations. In an Op-Ed titled “I Want My 2.3 Bonus Years,” Chalabi argues older women should have just as much fun as older men. Umm, okay, so go do it???

10. By reposting a leaked photo of singer Teairra Marí, rapper 50 Cent may have found himself in some legal trouble. Again. The leak was allegedly an act of revenge porn and, well, Instagram quickly shut him down — 50 later posting a "goodbye" photo saying he was going back to Twitter anyway, fuck it: "They take shit down off my page with out notifying me. #censorthesenuts"

[cover photo Joshua Rawson-Harris via Unsplash]