Penis Caught In Zipper: It affects more men than you'd think
You'd think guys would understand that when you're packing fragile and sensitive equipment you'd zip with the upmost caution. Turns out, that's not the case. An estimated 17,616 men went to the emergency room for "trouser zip injuries to the genitals" between 2002 and 2010, according to an article published this week in the Journal of the British Association of Urological Surgeons. Almost all of the guys had their trouser snake stuck in their zipper.
Luckily for men and boys everywhere, there is a silver lining to the story: zipper injuries have held steady year over year throughout the nine-year study. So don't worry, evolution is on the side of keeping the penis attached and in form.
Our favorite part of this story has to be Dr. Steven M. Selbst's advice on what to do if you ever find your twig and berries gripped between the metal teeth of your zipper:
"I’ve done this many times. You want to just pour mineral oil all over the patient’s genitalia and the zipper," Selbst said. "Be generous – that’s the key. This is pretty cheap stuff. Then let the patient sit there for 20 or 30 minutes. Pack him in a room somewhere. When you come back, the foreskin will have simply slipped out of that zipper, although in some cases you may need a cotton swab to help it along a bit."
Our advice: drink heavily and cry.