Polish girl trying to bang 100,000 men...how do we keep up with her?
It's good to set lofty goals for yourself, but this one is like "lofty" on crack doused in gunpowder then strapped to a missile.
Polish 21 year-old Ania Lisewska wants to have sex with 100,000 men, for 20 minutes each. And only on weekends. To put that into perspective, that's like having sex with every single person in Boulder, and then some.
Will you be her 78,383rd?
To reach her goal, she'd have to have sex with 7,208 people every year for almost 14 years (taking her 20 minute per person/ only on the weekends stipulation into the equation). Yeah, she could spread it out over longer than that, but after 14 years we're kind of thinking her vagina will be made of finely ground dust.
She announced her intentions to the Austrian Times, saying "I love sex, fun and men," and that she would travel across Poland, and then every city in this whole goddamn world because she wants men from every last nook and crannie there is. Hey, we love sex as much as the next target market male or female aged 18 to 35, but that doesn't mean we want to fuck our genitals into nonfunctional oblivion. Says her Facebook page,
I will visit every city in Poland, and when I've done all of them, I will start traveling abroad.
Watch, out world. So far, Ania's had sex with a measly 284 people, meaning she's not even 1% done. Meaning she's slept with every passenger in this Boeing 757. Meaning she's got 352 more Boeing 757's of dick left to go.
Good lord, how can we keep up with this girl? We've only had sex with like, 30.5 people collectively here at Rooster. Nerd alert!
Here's another totally un-arousing way to think about Ania's goal. There are approximately 200 million sperm cells in a man's ejaculation. If 100,000 men get all up in this girl, that's 20,000,000,000,000 (twenty motherfuckin' trillion) potential babies.
According to her Facebook page, the sex marathon began last month in Warsaw. She's got a website where potential fuck buddies can contact her and they can set up a time to be Ania's 40,213 th lover or whatever. She's also got one very unhappy boyfriend, who apparently "isn't thrilled" with Ania's choice of hobbies, but has had to "come terms with it." Because there's not 3.4 billion other women out there who aren't trying to bang the equivalent of the entire population of Tonga. Or Aruba (thanks, Wikipedia).
Of course, many accounts of Ania's sex-capades reveal that she is going for a Guinness World Record, but the organization has never published sexually adjudicated records like that. We, however, will absolutely publish Ania's sex tolls. We'll keep you updated once she hits 1,000 men. So, like tomorrow...