Porn moratorium after actress tests positive for HIV forces us to use our imagination

Porn moratorium after actress tests positive for HIV forces us to use our imagination

VicesAugust 23, 2013

In a massively blue-balling turn of events, the porn industry has called a moratorium on filming after actress Cameron Bay tested positive for HIV, the Free Speech Commission reported to Huffington Post.

The FSC has been doing some...cough, "rigorous research" to determine who Cameron had unprotected sex with prior to her positive test, which we're sure has nothing to do with watching all her films. Which we're also sure has nothing to do with watching the films of her possibly infected partners, and the complex web of people her partners had sex with to determine who may have been affected. That's a lot of porn to watch.

FSC commissioner Diane Duke told Huff Post that the porn industry has cooperated fully with the investigation, and it's unclear whether the transmission occured on set. Last November, LA voted in favor of Measure B, which requires condoms to be used during porn shoots. However, the LA County Department of Public Health has been criticized for failing to enforce these regulations.

And in a bizarre turn of events, it looks like Sydney Leathers (aka Anthony Weiner's online mistress) has a mutual partner in common with Cameron: Xander Corvus. Let's break it down. Cameron and Xander filmed a scene for Kink.com's Public Disgrace in July. Then, Xander banged Sydney Leathers earlier this month in the cleverly titled film, Weiner and Me, which features Sydney Leather's giving a breathtakingly so-so portrayal of herself during the Anthony Weiner sex scandal. Xander plays a fantastic Anthony Weiner. However, in a statement to Gawker, Sydney said that both she and Xander had been tested prior to shooting the film, and they had both received clean bills of health. However, HIV often doesn't show up on tests for weeks, even months, after the exposure, so whether or not Sydney and Xander are infected remains to be seen. So, you can still get off to Weiner and Me in good conscious. Here's a promo for that, because sure.

The moratorium will not be lifted until all Cameron's partners have been tested and the risk has been eliminated, so no one knows how long it'll last. Which begs the question: what will we do without porn? Here's what we have so far....

1. Talk to each other

2. Make eye contact

3. Use our imagination to create HIV-free sex scenarios

4. Pick up milk at the grocery store---FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE BRING PORN BACK.