Put that blunt out, because Denver police are going out of control with public weed consumption tickets

Put that blunt out, because Denver police are going out of control with public weed consumption tickets

VicesNovember 17, 2014

What's up? Marijuana public consumption tickets in Denver, that's what. Very, very, up. Since weed became legal almost a year ago, your friendly Denver Police have written a record-breaking amount of tickets for public weed smoking, proving that Colorado's legal weed isn't really as legal as your penis-shaped bong would like to have you think.

So far in 2014, police have written 668 tickets for public blazing, compared to just 117 for the same period the year before, a 471 percent increase. Damn ... they just overshot that 420 mark.

Well, now, doesn't that seem ironic? Marijuana legalization was supposed to bring about decriminalization, yet in some ways toking up is more criminal than ever.

Here are some reasons why we think police are going a little ticket-crazy.

1. Marijuana tourists don't have a place where they can smoke the weed they buy. There are no clubs or venues for public consumption.

2. Police are mean.

3. People are still unfamiliar with municpal laws that prevent public consumption of weed.

4. Police are very mean.

5. Legalization was passed in Colorado under the stipulation that it be "regulated like alcohol," except you can drink alcohol in many public spaces. Confusing.

6. Police are very, very, mean.

7. Police have some free time now that they're focusing less on possession, so they're focusing on busting consumption.

8.  If has nothing to do with police being meany-pants ... You guys just don't understand that you can't bring your gravity bong to class or hot box the Rockies game.

Speaking of someone who tried to hot box a Rockies game, Denver marijuana attorney Rob Corry gave his opinion on why public consumption tickets have skyrocketed.

"We don’t have the bar/club side,” he said. "Denver is going to continue to see public consumption of it, that will be inevitable, until Denver allows people a place to consume it.”

But regardless of why Coloradans are still toking up everywhere from day care to Dairy Queen, the fact is that part of the legalization bill we passed was an agreement that smoking in public would be illegal, and punishable with fees up to $999. So ... we're breaking the law we all agreed to make, but not in a cool, Judas Priest "Breaking the Law" kind of way.

As of right now, the only place you're legally allowed to smoke weed is in a private residence. But make sure that those heady fumes don't escape past the walls of your abode ...you never know when urban pot-vigilante/ fume detection specialist Nasal Ranger may be watching.

So, what's the solution to Denver's pot-psycho police? Well, either you get yourself a vape pen and learn to smoke it steathily, or, you have your friends lock you inside a barricaded room as if you were a transforming werewolf until you finish your joint.

Or, just follow our lead and smoke oregano. Isn't that what you started out on anyway?