Q: My boyfriend has never made a move to go down on me. How can I get him to go down on me?
A: Put a $20 bill in your vagina. Actually, it’s probably going to have to be a bigger bill if he doesn’t like doing it. I wonder why he doesn’t? I’ll tell you why. Either it smells bad, you're on your period, it’s too hairy—or he feels like he wouldn’t be good at it and he doesn’t know how to please you. I'm guessing it’s the last option. Most guys love going down on girls because it’s an easy way to get them off, and this way they can feel like big, bad masculine men. But, men are also insecure about their sexual abilities just as much as women are, and he’ll run for the hills when you pull down your pants if he is intimidated by the daunting task of delicately licking your vagina. So, first make sure you’re squeaky clean down there, that you're not on the rag, and that there's not a national forest in your crotch, then straight up ask him why he doesn’t like it. Then beg him to. Say you’ve been thinking about it all day, and tell him how turned on you get when you imagine him going down on you (him in particular)/ if you can get him to try it this way, make sure to man extra loud and make him feel like he is blowing your mind so he’ll keep going. If he still won't go down on you—he might be gay. Have you thought of that? If he’s surely not, you should see if he’d like to maybe piss off and die.