Recapping the highest highs and lowest lows of 2017
Hey! Positive News!
It took a ton of digging, but amongst the perpetual think pieces calling everyone’s haircut racist, we found plenty to be happy about from 2017 in the media.
No protest in recent history was as attended as the Women’s March. The hats were kinda goofy, but the message heard ‘round the world was loud and clear.
The event that led Ariana Grande to hold a benefit show was a complete horror, but in the face of evil, she and her team rose up to collect $13 million for victims of the Manchester attack.
Through ongoing efforts of those who care, pandas are no longer endangered, China is ending the ivory trade, manatees and tigers are making a comeback and Magic Mesh still keeps out mosquitoes and flies.
In early November (while every outlet followed the Harvey Weinstein story like Harvey Weinstein follows women), Housing and Urban Development announced the number of homeless veterans is down 40 percent from just five years ago.
It was obnoxious, but the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge — now three years past its prime — created a remarkable ripple effect and led to the discovery of NEK1, a fancy science thing that might be able to cure cancer, too.
Celebrity Death Predictions
Listed every year until it happens.
George Bush Sr.
Things ain’t lookin’ good.
Oh stop, she’s damn near 96.
Guys, guys! Remember that thing?
1. The Leftovers
Greatest show in history.
2. Glitter Tits
The future of festival fashion.
3. Paradise Papers
This has got to stop.
4. CBD and WADA
Suffering athletes now have options.
5. Pop-up Hot Dog Toaster
What, don’t act like you wouldn’t.
2017’s Highest Lows
1. Pepsi Debacle
2. Cash Me Ousside
At least she has a future.
3. Anthony Scaramucci
He shouldn’t have been a thing.
4. America’s Still the Fattest
We can do better.
5. The Romphim
Never gonna happen folks.
Dankest Memes of 2017
1. Salt Bae
2. Expanding Brain
3. Distracted Boyfriend
4. This Is The Future Liberals Want
5. Trash Dove