Relationship Myths Disproved
No matter how great you are at life, everyone sucks at understanding the opposite sex on some level. It doesn’t help that there are more myths about sex and dating than there are about Tom Cruise’s sexuality.
To make your life just a little easier, Rooster set out to disprove 10 myths about gender differences, sex and dating. Thank us later.
Myth: Women don’t like nice guys.
At some point, every woman has dated an asshole. In some cases, it was because she was under the delusion that she could change him. In other cases, it was simply because assholes have a tendency to play the part of nice guys until things get serious. No, women are not only attracted to assholes. Believe it or not, the notion that nice guys finish last is outdated, largely false and often the result of women being creeped out by grand gestures that just come too soon.
Contrary to popular belief, women actually appreciate nice guys. Men who believe they will only get laid if they follow the ways of Barney Stinson or Don Draper are truly mistaken. Nowadays, being an uber-masculine asshole is less likely to get you laid than wearing high-water pants in public.
Myth: Men don’t like to snuggle.
Everyone likes to snuggle. In fact, we are predisposed to enjoy the old-fashioned cuddle. Sweaty bodies and hair in your face is a small price to pay for the feel-good chemicals oxytocin and dopamine, which are released during cuddling. Why work out for a runner’s high when you could just lay in bed all day with someone sexy and get a blissful boost of endorphins? Our thoughts exactly.
Myth: Men only love the chase.
Like many competitive sports, chasing women requires skill, and accepting the possibility of rejection and sometimes utter humiliation. Men don’t love the chase any more than women do. When women are put in the position of power, they have all the fun. Heavy chase is often how ladies get what they want from a boyfriend without committing to guys they’re not that interested in. Guys will move on from a relationship not because the chase is over but primarily because they know that the girl isn’t right for them and they’d lost themselves in the chase. Girls have the same ability but tend to allow more of a grace period before deciding on the guy.
Myth: Women don’t want one-night-stands.
When a woman has sex with a man, sometimes she’s in love, sometimes she wants a relationship, and sometimes she’s just plain horny. Still, women are too often portrayed as ultra-sensitive and easily attached. In contrast, male protagonists in romantic comedies bounce from bed to bed like herpes at a Motel 8. Although subtle about their desires, women enjoy the no-strings-attached and uninhibited interaction of the one-night stand as much as men. Everyone needs a break from the stresses of life, period.
Myth: Men don’t want to meet your parents.
If a guy likes you, chances are, he probably wants to meet your folks. That is, unless your father owns three shotguns, a purple heart and those cattle-castrating instruments. As much as it sucks to admit it, relationships with parents are a big deal. Daddy issues are often credited for putting girls on poles while mommy issues are credited for making guys frequent establishments with poles. When a guy is interested in a girl, he expects to meet her parents, even if it’s not on the top of his list of fun stuff to do with his lady. First, he wants to know what he has to look forward to or, vice versa, what to run from. Second, impressing a girl’s parents is a top priority for most guys. If the parents like him, then he has a better shot in the long run.
Myth: Young women are more emotionally vulnerable in relationships than young men.
Have you wondered why so many men in their mid to late 20s suck? Well ladies, it might be your fault. In a 2010, study at Florida State University with more than 1,000 singles between the ages of 18 and 23, researchers found that the ups and downs of relationships had a greater affect on the mental health of young men than young women. Wake Forest Professor of Sociology Robin Simon explained, “Women express emotional distress with depression while men express emotional distress with substance problems.” So, the 25-year-old asshole who shows more interest in a bottle of Jack than he does in his relationship may still be wounded from his junior year breakup.
Myth: Women are bigger social-media stalkers.
When it comes to social media, women may have mastered the art of the mirror pic, YouTubed their way to stardom and developed a superhuman sense of speed when tagged in unflattering pictures on Facebook, but it doesn’t mean they’re the premier stalkers of cyberspace. According to the computer security software company, McAfee, more men than women sign into their partner’s Facebook, email or other social-media account, and more men than women have used Facebook or Twitter to stalk their partner, ex or partner’s ex.
Myth: Men prefer when women leave something to the imagination.
Men prefer not to get mixed signals. If it’s a first date, he’s already imagined it, it was awesome, and what a woman wears, says and does typically gives him an idea of whether or not everyone’s on the same page.
Clothes, actions and verbals set the tone of an encounter. Where it gets confusing is when women seek validation through dressing and behaving in a way that indicates attraction and asks for attention even when they’re not at all interested in the relationship. Smart men see through it, and it burns them out quickly. Most women, when they dress for an occasion, dress not just for attraction and confidence but to send out nonverbals. Men like to be able to trust nonverbal communication. Everyone loves allure and temptation in the form of “accidental” lips on ear lobes and sweaters that just can’t stay on a woman’s shoulders. That doesn’t mean women have to constantly work at building allure and temptation. If you’re down and he knows it, speak the same language and everybody gets theirs.
Myth: Men don’t respect women who have sex on the first date.
Somehow society has tied “the chase” and the “score” with how respected a woman is within that relationship and in society. Both men and women perpetuate the cycle by encouraging the unhealthy balance instead of mutually fulfilling relationships, negating the fun of the encounter by looking at it as a power transfer. It’s obvious in the language used to describe male/female interaction: score, hit that, get laid, etc. vs putting out, giving it up ... you get the idea. Whether a woman has sex on the first date or 50th date, it comes down to the nature of the relationship as a whole, not just penis/vagina interaction, and intelligent daters know it.
Myth: Women are better at recognizing emotions (nonverbals) than men.
Science goes back and forth on this one, on one hand referencing mirror neurons as being universal among genders, and on the other citing the different balances of various hormones in women versus men. The truth? Men are incredibly tuned into nonverbal communication, but often choose to ignore that communication. Women are trained socially to see nonverbal cues, ask about the well being of others and then show empathy. In others words, guys get it, even if they weren’t trained to show it.