Researchers determine what the worst thing about each state is...Colorado's is a deep, unwavering commitment to cocaine

Researchers determine what the worst thing about each state is...Colorado's is a deep, unwavering commitment to cocaine

CultureSeptember 27, 2013

Ugliest people? Binge drinking? Bestiality? Every state has a dirty little secret (by secret we of course mean publicly available data). Each one has something so shitty about them, that if this shitty thing were brought up in public at a party, that state would run home crying like a little girl. 

So, what's the worst thing about your home state? Using mainly data from America's Health Rankings and the US Census, researchers at the University of Alabama determined what the shittiest thing about each state is. Check out the map below to find out what shameful statistic belongs to your home state.

 

Oh look, Colorado is the worst at NOT doing cocaine. Or, the best at doing it if you look at things like the optimist you are! All that cocaine is probably why we're the happiest, and skinniest state.  We're a state of WINNERS, people.

Some states were on the "not that shitty but still pretty hurting" end of the spectrum. Idaho, for example, has the "lowest level of congressional clout," whatever the fuck that means. But then, there's states like MIssissippi. Research showed Mississippi pretty much sucks at everything. They had highest rate of obesity, child poverty, infant mortality, the lowest median household, the lowest teacher salary, the highest teen birth rate and highest overall rate of STDs. Blowing it!

Here's the map in a handy list form for people that failed 9th grade geography (are you from Maine?).

1. Alabama: highest rate of stroke (3.8%) (tied with Oklahoma)

2. Alaska: highest suicide rate (23.6 suicides per 100,000 people in 2004)

3. Arizona: highest rate of alcoholism

4. Arkansas: worst average credit score (636)

5. California: most air pollution (15.2 micrograms per cubic meter)

6. Colorado: highest rate of cocaine use per capita (3.9% total population) PARTY ON, WAYNE.

7. Connecticut: highest rate of breast cancer

8. Delaware: highest abortion rate (27 per 1,000 women aged 15 to 44)

9. Florida: highest rate of identity theft (122.3 reports per 100,000 people)

10. Georgia: sickly based on highest rate of influenza

11. Hawaii –highest cost of living (tied with California)

12. Idaho – lowest level of Congressional clout

13. Illinois: highest rate of robbery (284.7 incidences per 100,000 people)

14. Indiana: rated the most environmentally unfriendly by NMI solutions

15. Iowa: highest percentage of people age 85 and older (1.8 percent) (tied with three other states)

16. Kansas: poorest health based on highest average number of limited activity days per month (3.5 days)

17. Kentucky: most cancer deaths (227 per 100,000 people) (BONUS fact: Kentucky also has the highest rate of tobacco smokers – 25.6%)

18. Louisiana: highest rate of gonorrhea (264.4 reported cases per 100,000 people)

19. Maine: dumbest state claim based on lowest average SAT score (1389)

20. Maryland: highest rate of AIDS diagnosis (27.6 people per 100,000 people)

21. Massachusetts: worst drivers claim based on highest rate of auto accidents

22. Michigan: highest unemployment rate (13.6%)

23. Minnesota: highest number of reported tornadoes (123 in 2010)

24. Mississippi: highest rate of obesity (35.3% of total population)

BONUS facts: Mississippi ranks poorly in the most number of categories. These include highest rate of child poverty (31.9%), highest rate of infant mortality (1.01%), lowest median household income ($35,078), highest teen birth rate (71.9 per 1,000 women aged 15 to 19) and highest overall rate of STDs.

25. Missouri: highest rate of bankruptcy (700 out of every 100,000 people)

26. Montana: highest rate of drunk driving deaths (1.12 deaths per 100 million miles driven)

27. Nebraska: Violence on females

28. Nevada: highest rate violent crime (702.2 offenses per 100,000 people). BONUS fact: Nevada also has the highest rate of foreclosure (one in 99 houses).

29. New Hampshire: highest rate of corporate taxes

30. New Jersey: highest rate of citizen taxation (11.8%)

31. New Mexico: antisocial claim based on lowest ranking in social heath policies

32. New York: longest average daily commute (30.6 minutes) 

33. North Carolina: among the lowest average teacher salary

34. North Dakota: ranked last in ugliest residents report as chosen by The Daily Beast

35. Ohio: nerdiest state claim based on highest number of library visits per capita (6.9)

36. Oklahoma: highest rate of female incarceration

37. Oregon: highest rate of long-term homeless people

38. Pennsylvania: highest rate of arson deaths (55.56 annually)

39. Rhode Island: highest rate of illicit drug use (12.5% of population)

40. South Carolina: highest percentage of mobile homes (18.8%)

41. South Dakota: highest rate of forcible rape 76.5 per 100,000

42. Tennessee: chosen most corrupt state by The Daily Beast.

43. Texas: lowest high school graduation rate (78.3%)

44. Utah: highest rate of of online porn subscriptions

45. Vermont: infertility claim based on lowest birth rate of any state (10.6 births per 1,000) (tied with Maine)

46. Virginia: highest number of alcohol-related motorcyle deaths

47. Washington: most cases of bestiality (4 reported in 2010)

48. West Virginia: highest rate of heart attack (6.5 percent of population)

49. Wisconsin: highest rate of binge drinking (23.2 percent of population)

50. Wyoming: highest rate of deadly car crashes (24.6 deaths per 100,000)