Rich people are staying young by injecting the blood of millennials
Sounds ridiculous right? Someone's getting old and is so afraid of a natural process that has happened to countless billions in the past, they're willing to shell out a bunch of money to try and reverse it. Where's Philip Dick when you need him?
Yet the notion is real. According to CNBC, a start-up company named Ambrosia is offering patients the ability to turn back the clock resting on not much more than the manipulation of abject fear and pseudo-science that obviously counts now because look at where we are as a country. For the measly cost of a semester at school ($8,000), the company promises clients the freshest millennial blood to replace old person blood.
So far, about 100 people have signed up for the new prospect, says founder Dr. Jesse Karmazin. The blood, typically taken from teenagers (though anyone under 25 is eligible), is bought from a blood bank with the donor completely unaware of what their juice is being used for. Say you're a healthy 18-year-old and want to do better for the community — so you sit down, donate blood and then drink orange juice like a good lad thinking it'll help crash victims or someone with a botched surgery needing life. But nope, it goes to a withering hag with a golden umbrella. Sad.
Tech billionaire Peter Thiel was once super excited about the notion of taking blood from kids, too. “I’m looking into parabiosis stuff, which I think is really interesting," he once told Inc. Magazine. "This is where they did the young blood into older mice and they found that had a massive rejuvenating effect. I think there are a lot of these things that have been strangely under-explored.”
He's since admitted to taking HGH pills everyday to try and live to 120.
The science behind it is ... kind of not there. Karmazin started the company after reviewing the same research Thiel was talking about, yet the general consensus is that the results are far from definitive — some researchers even vocalizing an ethical hang-up about Ambrosia possibly taking advantage of people's fears without due process.
Moral of the story: You're probably going to die. Suck it up, buttercup.