The Riot Fest Stops In For A Visit This Weekend. Here's Our 'No Duh' Inventory Of Forgettables.

The Riot Fest Stops In For A Visit This Weekend. Here's Our 'No Duh' Inventory Of Forgettables.

EventsSeptember 17, 2013

Colorado - allow the Riot to commence!

This Saturday, September 21st, the shenanigan-fueled music festival appropriately dubbed The Riot Fest & Sideshow finally drops by. The festive hullabaloo runs through Sunday night, and is setting stake only about an hour east of Denver, in Byers, CO. It will bring with it a myriad of punk legends to ease our rain-soaked bones, along with carnival rides, games, a corn maze and something curiously labeled “punkin chunkin.” The showing of the festival is a first for Colorado, and promises to be an opportunity for repeat visits of the traveling celebration.

To be clear, it’s been assured to us that The Riot Fest will go on as scheduled, as the May Farms weren’t affected by the recent flooding that’s devastated our state. The weather appears that it couldn’t be any better for the event, with highs teetering around the low 80s, but keep in mind isolated storms around Byers are a possibility.

What do we suggest? Do some solid thinking now for a concrete pre-game, so that the weekend can be devoid of all rational thought. We at The Rooster took the guess work out of it and have compiled a few cliché things to keep in mind before heading out to Byers for a weekend chock full of questionable outcomes and damaged hygiene.

Water: Water, agua, H2O, voda, vann, waasser, ama. We don’t know how to say it enough (thank you Google). It is imperative that hydration occur at every pinpoint of an opportunity. While no outside food or beverage will be allowed in the venue, it’s always a safe bet to bring it along, at least in the car anyways. Don’t let the activities of a lively weekend distract from what’s important. Monday will thank you.

Healthy snacks / Food: Again, no outside food or beverages are permitted IN the venue, but the rules never suggest anything about AROUND the venue. For those opting for the extended stay, a healthy and convenient menu is a must, and is necessary to keep from acting like such a dick all weekend. Keep everyone fed with things high in protein, fiber and healthy fats. Why? Go here for an explanation, but in summation: Eat those things to not act like an asshole all day.

Gas / Tire Pressure / General Cleanliness of Vehicle: We like to think that this would be standard in everyday living, but surprisingly these kinds of things can jut to the back of priorities without so much as a friendly goodbye. There isn’t much in the way of amenities in Byers (comparatively speaking of course) and odds are that gas prices are inflated for the weekend. Worry about the mundane shit now so the time doesn’t come that the whole crew is S.O.L. and only have the driver to blame. Stuck with being the coachman? Clean the damn car – nobody likes basting in a roasted McDonalds preservative, gaseous marinade.

Extra Socks: Damn it if Lieutenant Dan wasn’t a brilliant man! "Try and keep your feet dry when we’re out humpin’. I want you boys to remember to change your socks wherever we stop. The Mekong will eat a grunt’s feet right off his legs." It’s foolproof logic. If there hasn’t been laundry done for a number of months, worry not. Follow our lead. We bought a few packs at the local emporium for those just-in-case moments. If this weekend is anything like our trips to SXSW, we’ll be bartering away a clean pair of our cotton foot-kisses for the expensive kinds of shots - true story.

Booze / Amendment 64: Speaking of beer, bringing to the event one's own cold barley soup is probably one of the better ideas we’ve mustered. Grab it on the way out of town, toss it in some ice, and enjoy when the time is right. And since the city of Byers still remains in one of the Coloraddist states in the nation, bring the bag of Amendment 64 and enjoy what little of the warm seasons we have left. But always remember our favorite rhyme: “Driving while on the stuff? Enjoy jail, it’s awfully rough.”

Other notables:

Parking on site?
Yes, there certainly is.
Camping still available?
As of press time, yes, but hurry.
Are there shuttles to and fro?
Yes, go here to find out more.
What time does the madness commence?
Gates are scheduled to open at 11:00am - both days.
What’s the lineup?
Seriously? It’s been out for months, but here it is.
But I’ve seen the lineup, I’m not stupid, what’s the schedule?
Set times just recently announced are here!
What items are prohibited?
* Weapons
* Drugs
* Outside food/drinks
* Chairs/lawn furniture
* Professional level cameras without a pass
* Umbrellas
* Bikes/rollerblades/skateboards/scooters/etc
* Hard coolers
* Air horns
* Pets (service dogs are okay)
* Douchebaggery

For any other questions run over to the Riot Fest FAQ page to find out more.