"Scott Pollock: Gang Bang Organizer", and Other Business Cards from Hell

"Scott Pollock: Gang Bang Organizer", and Other Business Cards from Hell

VicesAugust 07, 2013

Scott Pollack, of Minneapolis, Minnesota, was enjoying a fruitful and fulfilling career as the CEO of his very own gang bang party planning business, Scotty GB Parties. That is, until it all came crashing down one fateful evening, when a Minneapolis hotel manager happened upon his business card.

"Scott, Gang Bang Organizer," it said. The hotel manager was perplexed. According to the Huffington Post, the hotel manager did some light internet stalking and found out that one of Scott's sex parties was happening that very night, at the neighborhood Quality Inn. He promptly called the police, who headed straight to Scott's doomed GB, leaving the hotel manager to gloat privately over fulfulling his imaginary civic duty to stop people from banging in gangs.

Upon arrival at Scott's hotel room, police sprung into undercover-mode. After offering Scott $20 to "tag team her and do her at the same time", Scott graciously acquiesed, but not before informing them that her "sucker is a little tired." "Her" turned out to be a woman named "Wendy", who was trying earnestly to have sex with 45 people for her 45th birthday. A hand counter displayed proudly on the nightstand read '31', indicating that Wendy was well on her way.

But Wendy never got her wish. That's because gang bang Scott was aprehended by the same cops he mistook for customers. He was charged with solicitation, inducement, and promotion of prostitution. And that, ladies and gentlemen, was a huge boner-killer for everyone, Wendy included.

All this, because of Scott's shitty business card. And that got us thinking...what other weird, lame, hilarious business cards are lurking in the murky depths of the internet? Check out what we found.

1. Let Me Milk Your Prostate

2. How 'bout we call you maybe not?

3. Specializes in 'Men'

4. Gene- Call us. Seriously. We need you.

5. Civil War Orgies and Seabags

6. Southern Fried Homicide

7. Female Dominate Company/ Pret-three-face-zez-ent???

8. Moisture Farmer?!

9. The Classic, The Original, The First and Worst Business Card of All Time